


And When My Compass Can't Find North (I See You Shining From Afar; Guide Me Home)

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012), Thor (2011)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Anxiety, F/M, Pre-Thor/AU Darcy Lewis Week Challenge, Self Defense, Warning: there is an attempted rape in the second chapter of this story (not by a main character), Yoga, darcy is a kick ass volunteer, darcy legit leaves the country instead of interning for jane, darcy's host family are amazeballs, i swear i don't kill darcy in this one lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-11
Updated: 2012-09-17
Packaged: 2017-11-14 00:35:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 27,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/509442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[AU] Darcy Lewis has always had trouble finding direction in her life and college leaves her with more questions than answers. When an opportunity to travel to South Asia to teach English to underprivileged kids springs up, she decides it could be just what she needs to figure out her purpose in life. While her soul searching is bringing up great results, the mysterious doctor she meets, on the run from American authorities, might just heal her soul in another way.</p><p> </p><p>[<b>PAUSED for foreseeable future!</b>]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

For as long as Darcy could remember, she never really knew what she wanted out of life; interests would come and go, job opportunities, education prospects, but nothing really jumped out at her. She'd waffled over what to major in when she traded high school for college, feeling like the flighty gypsy her mother always lamented she was. She'd started out in education; she liked the idea of teaching kids. But at some point, possibly when she was standing in line at Starbucks and some snot-nosed tween just bobbed his head to what was playing on his iPod, staring at her chest without blinking, she realized she didn't have the patience or tolerance for that kind of work. So then she thought maybe she'd major in philosophy; she loved the idea of picking apart the nature of people and the world and how everybody responded to things. But then she always felt kind of dumb during lectures, where people were getting Gandhi deep and she felt like her misplaced humor reflected badly on her. So somehow, she ended up going into political science. And after two years, a lot longer than either of the others, she thought she was finally on the right track… Kind of. Or, at least, she hadn't found a flaw yet. All she needed was six credits; an internship would get her that easy. The problem was finding someone willing to take her on. Maybe it was the attitude, but people just weren't interested in what she had to offer.

She was walking through the college job fair, her mind wandering, considering but not exactly interested in getting a hold of the astrophysicist in New Mexico who needed a like-minded scientist to fetch coffee and possibly share genius with her. Darcy was well aware that political science and physics weren't exactly two peas in the same pod. In fact, one was a pea and the other was probably like, a carrot or something. But she was getting desperate and she thought, after all the crap interviews she'd done so far, that she would be able to fake it enough that she could just be the coffee-fetching intern they liked just enough to keep around so she could earn her credits.

When she told her mom this, though, Ellen broke into that disappointed sigh that always made her feel like crap.

_"Darcy, tell me you're not getting bored of this one too! I can't afford to pay for your ADD!"_

_She rolled her eyes. "I don't have attention deficit dis— Oh my God, I think I just saw Brad Pitt drive by on a moped…"_

_Silence._

_"That was a joke. I was joking. It's this thing kids my age do sometimes; we're just a rip-roaring generation of pranksters…" she lamented._

_"Could you just be serious? For once in your life, Darcenia, I just want you to be serious!"_

_"All right, ma, seriously," she groaned, "I'm gonna talk this physicist chick into taking me on. I'll dress up and everything, put on a good show. She'll think I'm the best thing since sliced cheese."_

_"I thought it was bread."_

_"What?"_

_"The saying, I thought it was sliced bread…"_

_"Bread, cheese, whatever." She shrugged. "Besides, cheese is like a world ahead of bread. If I was stuck on a desert island with only one food, I'd pick cheese over bread."_

_"What are you doing on this island?" her mother asked shrilly. "And where did this cheese come from? Somebody airlifted you cheese but didn't save you? What sense does this make?"_

_"Boy, they would'a loved you back in my philosophy class…" Darcy muttered, rolling her eyes. "Listen, I'm just saying that I'm gonna be on my best behavior for this Dr. Foster chick, okay? She's going to love me! I'll be hired on spot!"_

_"No cleavage!" her mother ordered with a huff. "You button your collar right up to your neck, reign in that mouth of yours, and you beg if you have to!"_

_"Okay, all right, I get it…"_

_She gave that long sigh again, sounding defeated. "You know I love you, Darcy, you're my little girl, always… But your life is never going to start if you keep getting in its way."_

_"Message received; stop sabotaging self. Ay, ay, captain!" She shifted her feet and threw her head back, glaring at the ceiling as her eyes stung. "Listen, I gotta go, but I've taken everything you said very seriously, I'm making a list and checking it twice, saying no to naughty and yes to nice, and I'll get it, all right? Don't worry about it!"_

_"Good. Fine. You'll call me after?"_

_"Sure," she said, frowning. "You got it."_

_"Okay… I love you…?"_

_"Yeah, I love you too." She reached up and rubbed her nose, a habit of hers when she was emotional and she didn't want to be. "Night."_

_She hung up the phone and dropped it down so the screen was against her forehead._

_Score one more for Bad Pep Talks: Mom Edition. Somehow she didn't think being reminded she failed and it had become an expectation of her mother's was exactly the boost she needed. But whatever, she'd just have to figure this thing out; physicist or no physicist._

Darcy had been going over her options, a never-ending back and forth, tossing and turning in bed, and then arguing with herself when she woke up from her shitty sleep. To call or not to call. Or, to email or not to email. Or hell, to send up a smoke signal and see if the good doctor thought it was clever enough to offer her the internship. Coffee in hand, she walked through the campus, getting distracted by the banners and signs, trying to draw people in and get them interested.

The first time Darcy arrived at school, she stopped at every booth; she loaded up on pins and stickers and flags and just walked around wearing  _all_ of it, some on her and some stuck to her old, army-green backpack; she looked exactly like the no-direction kid she was. Now, she didn't bother stopping at any of the booths, where excited people were calling out for her attention, trying to convince her she had a future with them and their business. Telling her it was easy; she'd be happy doing the kind of jobs they offered. The problem was, Darcy would get interested, she always did; people offered up a plan and she went with it. But interest waned fast and it didn't take her long to decide it didn't fit. She was trying to mold herself into the people offering her a certain kind of life. Business suits didn't fit right. High heels were painful and confining. She wasn't good at being pretentious or all-knowing or patient. She was just…  _Darcy_.

There was a lone booth set up near the fountain. Nobody ever set up there in the past because sometimes students tried their hand at skateboarding off the edge, often falling one way or the other, either falling in the fountain and sending up a flood of water that soaked the booth, or falling the other way and knocking the booth over. But today it looked like the skateboarders weren't interested, so the lone booth was home free, for now at least.

They were set apart from the others, still setting up unlike the rest who'd been there since the sun had risen, wired on coffee and handing out flyers to every single person who walked by. These two were dressed down, in khaki pants and loose t-shirts, they had a stand set up with pictures of smiling kids, some missing teeth, wearing bright colors and waving for the camera, little bracelets tied around each of their wrists. Darcy found herself walking toward the booth, gaze set on the face of a smiling boy, his skin a dark brown, his hair a ruffled mop. He couldn't be more than seven and he was hugging an old, worn book to his chest. The Very Hungry Caterpillar; it was one of her favorites from childhood.

"His name is Satyajit," a voice said and Darcy continued to stare, not bothering to look back at the woman who spoke to her. "He picked up English really fast… He's a quick learner, eager, happy…"

Darcy paused, gaze moving to the side, and realized that the booth was for a troupe of volunteers who worked in Calcutta, India, teaching English to slum and street children.

"It's the third largest city in India," the woman went on. "Unfortunately, it's home to a lot of kids who end up on the streets or living in the slums. Which is why we were work with underprivileged communities; we provide learning tools, the education they deserve to have but can't afford and wouldn't otherwise get…"

Darcy stared at the pictures, moving from Satyajit's smiling face to the others, groups of them, some sitting in classrooms, arms raised to answer questions. Americans standing at the front of rooms, book in hand, teaching. And she remembered that first day that she considered working in education; where the idea of seeing the light go on, seeing somebody  _get_ it because she'd taught it to them, made her chest turn over.

"The program is from one to six months. We have brochures if you'd like to look at one…"

Darcy took a step back, her cell phone weighing heavy in her pocket, and she remembered her mother's disappointed sigh, and Dr. Foster's posting about desperately needing an intern.

And then she stared at Satyajit's face and her chest thumped.

She took the brochure.

…

All in all, she didn't think it was the worst decision she'd ever made. That was probably that time that she let Brody Matthews feel her up under the bleachers freshman year and then had to put up with him telling anybody who would listen that she let him go all the way. If she'd had her taser back then, Brody would never grow up to be a proud parent of some bratty, over-privileged kids.

She stuck close to her fresh-faced volunteer group, trying to look more confident than she felt. But all she could hear was her mother ranting and raving that she'd screwed up again; that she was wasting her money. She'd eventually zoned out, going through the webpage online, constantly looking at the pictures, telling herself it was worth it; if for nothing but Satyajit's smile, it was worth it.

They'd had a few meetings during the weeks leading up to the day of take-off, trying to figure out where in Calcutta each of them should go, which part of the program fit with them. When each of them had a destination in mind, they were prepped on what to pack, local culture and customs, food, safety and precautions depending on the area and just logical deduction. She'd been feeling good about it then; a little anxiety welling in her stomach but nothing that made her change her mind. But now, having set down, standing in a busy airport, the language barrier very obvious, with a bunch of people just as green as her, she was starting to panic.

"I brought Xanax," a guy from their group offered. "Does anybody else want a Xanax?"

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Don't pop any pills yet, we'll figure something out. And FYI,  _Charlie Bartlett_ , until you know what you got yourself into, you might not want to share…"

"What were we supposed to do again? Does anybody have their itinerary on them?" a high-pitched, female voice wondered anxiously.

She searched out the owner and found a girl shaking like a leaf; she reminded Darcy of a Chihuahua seconds away from pissing herself.

"Everybody needs to  _calm_ down… We've only been here like, twenty minutes…" She shrugged. "Nobody wanders off and  _no_ , I see you, Jason!" She pointed at the Asian boy who was squirming and eyeing what Darcy assumed were the bathrooms. "We aren't 'making potty' until we've got a plan." She shook her head. "Last thing any of us needs is a news report with our faces making the rounds and a Missing American headline for Fox News…"

"I'm hungry."

"Are you  _sure_ this is Calcutta? What if we got off too early?"

"I don't think these are my bags…"

She could feel a headache coming on and started rubbing her temples.

"Darcy…" a girl said, before pointing.

Following her finger, Darcy finally saw it; a sign, marked with the volunteer group's name. Suddenly, she remembered that a representative was going to pick them up and bring them into town to where they'd be staying. During the first night they weren't expected to help out, just unpack and relax. She'd talked a bit on the flight over with some of the other volunteers and she liked a few of them, at least enough to work with for the next month; although this recent stress point was making her question that. Thankfully, she'd only paid for the first month so she didn't get her mom in a mountain of debt by agreeing to the six months and then flaking on the group when it didn't suit her.

As they met up with the representative, Darcy was happy to hand over the reigns of limited control. And after a bathroom break, they were separated into pairs according to where they'd be staying and working. Darcy breathed a sigh of relief at finding one of the girls she'd connected with on the flight was her partner. Her name was Jessica; she was soft-spoken but goofy and lighthearted. Darcy knew her own loud voice was going to constantly drown Jessica out, but she made an effort not to. She stuck close to her, as they climbed into the bed of the truck for the drive in, hooking an elbow with her and saying, "It's you and me, kid!" to which she got a friendly grin before they were both startled as the truck sprang to life and lurched forward onto the street.

Calcutta wasn't exactly what she'd expected; the smiling faces of children kind of colored her brain-picture of what it would be like. It started out beautiful; well taken care of, filled with modern architecture and a blossoming hub of activity. But later, as they got deeper into the roots of the city, where the slums had begun to take over, she realized that the beginning was like a giant, distracting sticker that covered up something that needed some serious TLC.

There were buildings; it was a city, after all. Many were tall and old, dirty with general use and a lack of upkeep. In the area that she was staying, it wasn't like back in the States where they paid to have windows and walls washed, trying to preserve an image. They didn't have Stark high skyscrapers everywhere the eye could see, clouding everything. The buildings were rich with history, though many of them looked ready to fall apart, old and decaying in places. Many were painted brighter colors; to cover up where they were falling apart, she assumed. The streets were crowded with vehicles and people, loud with honking and talking and the ringing of bicycle bells trilling a warning at those around them.

It was a long drive before they arrived at the building she and Jessica would be staying in. The rickety old truck that didn't seem nearly as stable as it should, bouncing as it moved and leaning precariously at turns, came to such an abrupt stop that Darcy slid off her seat and bumped her knee on the floor of the truck bed. With the engine still running, it was obvious the representative and driver had to go, and quick. So Darcy and Jessica hopped out of the truck and took their bags from the other volunteers who passed them down politely. Through the open window, the driver rattled off the address they needed to find their host family before the truck took off with the rest of the volunteers, crowded together on the wood benches that filled the bed of the truck.

"So… Home sweet home," Darcy said, staring up.

Their host family lived inside of what passed as an apartment building. On the second floor of an old, run-down building with faded, aged posters peeled on the outside, stuck to the cement walls, their apartment sat center, looking down on a busy street just a couple blocks from where she'd be working.

Jessica shrugged her backpack higher on her shoulders. "Can we make a pact not to the let the other person die or do anything totally weird and embarrassing while we're here?" she wondered. "My mom cried for an hour because she thought I was going to get killed while I was away..." She rolled her eyes.

"My mom mostly wanted me to stop spending her money and just finish college already…" She started toward the building. "She wasn't even talking to when I hopped a plane out here."

"Ouch," Jessica murmured.

"Eh, I'm good. Saves me some money on long distance calling…"

The walls inside the building were mustard yellow, faded over time; Darcy's rolling-bag bounced against her as she pulled it up the stairs, panting a little at the effort.

Jessica was repeating the numbers over and over again, but the doors were marked in Bengali and neither of them were exactly fluent. And by that Darcy meant she knew all of five random words, while the rest was still a bit of a jumble that made her brain hurt. Jessica, thankfully, had a pocket-translation book, which never left her hand.

They came to a stop in front of the door, traded looks and shrugs, and finally knocked.

The door swung open quickly after that, as if someone had been waiting directly next to the door, eager to meet them.

Darcy peered inside at her new digs curiously.

The walls were painted brightly, not the same mustard yellow but a little hard on the eyes all the same. The furniture was old and lived in, a mixture of different fabrics that would make any American designer cringe. Darcy loved it.

Standing patiently in wait was a tall, thin, brown-skinned man, with sparse, dark hair on his head, and a raggedy black beard. His shirt fairly hung off of him and he kept pushing his thin, wire framed glasses up his wide nose. "আমাদের বাড়িতে স্বাগতম," he said in his native Bengali.

Darcy blinked at him while Jessica thumbed through her translation book.

He chuckled warmly, pressed his hands together, and bowed his head at them. "Welcome to our home," he translated in English. He pressed a hand to his chest. "My name is Basu and I am honored to share my home with you."

"Hey, honor's all ours," Darcy told him, holding a hand out for him to shake. "My name's Darcy."

He took it with both hands. "Welcome, Darcy."

Jessica reached a hand past Darcy's shoulder and introduced herself.

"আমাদের গেস্ট এখানে আছেন?" (Our guests are here?) a much louder, feminine voice shouted from somewhere in the apartment.

Darcy looked around Basu, searching out the owner of the voice. A woman, much shorter, but just as thin, came hurrying out. She was dressed in a blue t-shirt with a grey and green wrap over one shoulder and wrapped around her body.

She threw her hands up. "স্বাগতম! স্বাগতম!" (Welcome! Welcome!) She stood next to Basu and smiled warmly at them, her brown eyes wide. The stud in her nose glinted, catching Darcy's eyes, and she remembered when she got her nose pierced as a teenager but got rid of it when it seemed like everybody else was doing it. Rebellion, man, it was only cool until it became a fad.

"I am the Rani," the woman told them, nodding her head quickly. "I am most happy that you are here with us to share in our home."

"Rani is my wife," Basu told them, hugging an arm around her shoulders. "She feels very honored when we host volunteers. She's been cooking all day to make your first night here enjoyable!"

"Food!?" Darcy perked up. "Lady, I love you already!"

The one good thing Darcy brought with her was the kind of pallet that thought Cheese Whiz was a freaking delicacy. She could eat anything and find something good about it; food was the world's gift to her and she was happy to receive.

"Come, come!" she said, ushering them inside.

It wasn't until that moment that the smell of food hit her and her mouth-watered. "Gonna love this place…" she sighed.

Dinner was incredible; she had no idea what she was eating and she was pretty sure she didn't want to ask, just in case it was something that would turn her head if not her stomach, so she just enjoyed herself. Every time she reached for more and filled her plate, Rani gave her a bright smile, which was miles better than her mom's disapproving look of 'haven't you had enough already?' and 'stop licking your fingers in front of guests; that's what napkins are for.'

"So, how many volunteers have you guys had before?" Darcy wondered, sucking a red sauce from her fingers, more or less a sign of protest toward a mother who wasn't even there to see her do it.

"We began hosting five years ago," Basu told her, nodding. "We have had at least four people each year stay in our home."

"Cool beans." She filled her mouth with rice and chewed.

Jessica sat forward in her seat; apparently not as open to food as Darcy, she'd been hesitate to eat much on her plate. "Um, so you guys must really like the program then?"

Rani excitedly proclaimed something in Bengali, clapping her hands together.

Basu smiled gently at her. "Yes. It  _has_  been very helpful, to the children especially." He clasped his hand in front of him. "I see so many hungry faces all day long, children who do not know basic skills; it is unfair that they are left to fend for themselves. But this group, it comes and it teaches and we see light, we see hope in faces, in eyes…"

"It is not perfect." Rani shook her finger. "No quick fix!" She nodded abruptly. "But one life. You change one life—" She knocked a hand against her chest. "—you grow knowledge in one person—" She tapped her temple. "—and you make a  _difference_." She grinned widely then. "And we help." She spread her arms out. "We open our doors, our arms, we take in people and they teach skills; they teach  _hope_." She reached over and shook Darcy's hand, squeezing it. "We are the bridge, between you and them… Together, we all change one life." She held up a single finger. "Yes?"

Darcy smiled back at her. "Yes."

" _Yes!_ " Rani sat back, looking proud.

Basu watched her with an affectionate expression. "Rani and I were not blessed with children, but we help the world however we can."

"Well, for what it's worth, you're helping me out loads," Darcy assured. "I'm feeling full and way hopeful, so…" She gave them a thumbs-up. "Way to go, team."

Rani threw her head back and laughed, apparently what she'd done or said had triggered a memory. "একটি গল্প! আমি আপনাকে এক বলুন!" she cried, before translating herself, "A story! I tell you one!"

Basu leaned back in his chair, stacking his hands on his chest, waiting patiently for his wife to share.

Smiling to herself, Darcy settled in, resting her face on her hands.

So far, from what she could tell, Basu and Rani were good people.

Basu was the quiet, reserved type, who liked to ask questions, about their trip, how they found the volunteer program, how long they were staying. While Rani was loud and talkative and had a story for everything. Both were welcoming and friendly and Darcy couldn't help but enjoy just how loudly Rani laughed, deep from the belly. Basu watched her with fascination in his face, like he hadn't been married to Rani and listening to that laugh for twenty or thirty years. He reached out and took his wife's hand atop the dinner table when she got to a particular amusing part and couldn't stop giggling; he shook her hand fondly and chuckled lightly to himself.

Darcy smiled, biting her lip. That was love. The kind her mom and dad never had, the kind she'd never found, and the kind she was only now witnessing halfway around the world.

She decided then and there that she was going to like it there.

…

Darcy took to volunteering pretty quickly. Teaching kids wasn't the easiest experience. She got a pocket dictionary off one of the volunteer group coordinators and kept it on her at all times, but the kids all talked so fast and they all wanted her attention  _immediately_. They were excited and eager and tactile little kids that were always tugging at clothes or her hands or trying to braid her hair. It was different; it wasn't like the kid with the iPod and the eyes that zeroed in on her chest and never left. These kids wanted to know about her and America and they liked to try and get her to speak their language, if only so they could laugh at her for  _completely_ butchering it.

She felt like she was constantly saying, "What? That's not how you say that?"

And they would giggle, shaking their heads and waving their arms, and then correct it back to her. But seriously, she was pretty sure she was saying it exactly like how they were.

It took a week before she thought maybe she had Joey Tribbiani disease; where she was saying some really dumb stuff that sounded legit  _only_ in her ears. Thankfully, later, she would realize it was just a slight pronunciation difference, and she was actually doing better than most of the other volunteers.

Which totally didn't stop the kids from teasing her, but she went with it. They seemed to get a kick out of her crap linguistic skills and she wasn't  _really_ embarrassed; her grandma used to say she had the Lewis Lady Balls… The fact that her  _grandma_ said that pretty much emphasized why she was the way she was.  _Genes_. She was genetically engineered to be equal parts weird and awesome. She briefly wondered if she could patent it…

Her favorite of all the kids she taught —and yeah sure she probably shouldn't have one but whatever it wasn't like she was  _announcing_ it to the class!— was Anala; she was talkative, just constantly babbling, in and out of broken English. Anala was tiny, her head reaching Darcy's hip. She had curly black hair that was  _always_ tangled and big brown eyes that would put Puss in Boots to shame. Her clothes were hand-me-downs that were at least a size too big, and she laughed at  _everything_. But for all her seven years, she was also insanely smart; not just book smart, either, but world smart. Like, grew up too soon but made the best of it smart.

As soon as she'd seen Darcy, she latched onto her hand and said, "You are a funny, pretty miss. I will be your friend and you will be mine."

With a grin, Darcy twirled her by her arm, and said, "Kid, I'm gonna be the best friend  _ever_."

And after that Anala walked with her everywhere she went. If Darcy stopped moving and sat down, Anala would move to braid her hair, leaving braids of all sizes, from huge and chunky to as thin as a twined thread, randomly all atop her head, never quite following a pattern. Darcy knew she probably looked ridiculous after, but Anala always looked so proud that she just had to leave them in.

During the morning, Darcy worked with the younger kids, teaching basic letters and words. She was the assistant more often than not, since she didn't know their language well enough to take on the class without somebody to translate. She was getting better, but she was extremely glad for Jared, a man in his early sixties with a wise face and a deep, grandfatherly presence. He'd been working in Calcutta for eleven years, starting back when it was still Kolkata, and before that, he had volunteered most of his life, all over the world. He taught her the basics of the Bengali language and was always happy to encourage her to teach and interact with the kids.

The first week she was there, she was terrified she was going to screw up. That somehow she'd teach these kids all the wrong words or she'd just be a shit teacher or that she'd ruin them forever. But there was something about how open they were, how accepting, that encouraged her to keep trying. All day, she would teach and play with the kids, and then she'd come back to Basu and Rani's house and she would tell them about her day, help Rani cook when she could, and learn about their days.

Rani would always have a story or a piece of gossip to share and, despite not knowing most of the people she talked about, Darcy soaked it in and filed it away. Eventually, Rani would kick her out of the kitchen, telling her to go enjoy her time off, and she'd wander over to the table to watch Basu.

He was an accountant and he worked for the smaller local businesses, so he spent much of his time at home, going over books and figures. Darcy often found him sitting there at the table, surrounded by papers, his brow furrowed, a pencil in his hand. Sometimes he would explain to her what he was working on, translating words and numbers for her. Other times he would just hum along to the radio and Darcy would eventually either convince Jessica to dance along with her or take a nap until dinner time.

Occasionally, Rani would dance with them, others she would wave them off, saying she was too old, to which her husband would tell her she was as beautiful as the day he had married her. Which would only prompt Rani to fuss over him, encouraging him to eat and making him tea; she rubbed his shoulders and told him stories or jokes she'd heard while she was shopping for food earlier that day. She never looked more proud than when she made Basu smile or laugh.

Darcy thought she could say just about anything and it would please Basu.

Sometimes, Darcy just liked to people watch. She would sit on the outskirts and observe people coming and going, stopping to talk, hurrying around. She watched the kids as they played, as they read, over and over, their school assignments. But of everyone, her favorites were Anala, Basu and Rani.

She was beginning to fall in love with Calcutta as a whole; finding the good in even the slums, seeing the people and the children and the hope in their faces as they came to classes. She knew she wasn't fixing everything; one month spent teaching didn't make her some superior being. But she thought they might be teaching her too; giving her direction, purpose, self-awareness, global awareness, and really, just a truly heart-warming experience.

Every day, she woke up, and she felt like she was where she was supposed to be.

It wasn't perfect; there were downsides to seeing the stark side of things too, but she tried to adapt.

The woman who'd left Culver University in search of herself was not the same one who stood in Calcutta. Even just physically, she felt different. The weather made jeans practically impossible, so Darcy took to wearing a pair of cut-off jeans and a loose t-shirt with the organization's name stamped on it. She tied her frizzy, sweat-damped hair up in a ponytail, much of which ended up in Anala's braids, and left things like make-up and good hair days in the past. She accepted that she wasn't going to look all that put-together, but she was passable, and at some point, thinking of her appearance just didn't occur to her.

It was the stuff on the inside that really changed though; finding that part of her that didn't get bored, didn't want to give up, didn't immediately look for something else to grab her interest. She felt content for the first time in her life. She felt like what she was doing, who she was with, it was enough to fill up those holes inside her that always seemed to gape and sag.

Explaining that was hard,  _understanding_ it was difficult. But she thought that maybe if she could figure out who she was, where she was going, what she wanted out of life, she would find the happiness that had always seemed so out of reach for her.

Communication wasn't always easy; she was cheap and paying her cell phone bill would probably mean its own pile of debt. So instead, she wrote her mom letters, sent home pictures, of Rani and Basu, the school, the kids, her. And while there was radio silence on Ellen's part for the first few weeks, something changed when that first month ended and Darcy signed up for a second. Like she was getting that this was different or that it meant something, she broke down and accepted that she would just have to support her and hope for the best.

With her mom's blessing and life in Calcutta looking up, Darcy reveled in finding something that finally suited her.

…

As the first month ended and Darcy signed herself up for another, quirky, soft-spoken Jessica went home, and a new volunteer was brought in to bunk with her. Claudine was super tall, beautiful, athletic, and probably ate more than even Darcy could pull off. She was friendly and happy to help and she was just about always moving. More often than not, she could be found playing with the kids, any sport she could find the equipment to (or, given their budget, something similar to the needed equipment that worked just as well). Darcy made sure to take pictures of Claudine skipping rope, playing basketball and football and soccer, and learning the local games, laughing with the kids and sharing her own learned skills.

Two months became three; Claudine was replaced with Georgia, the Southern belle with a heart of gold and a twang that Darcy, given her lack of brain-to-mouth filter, often imitated without even meaning to.

Three became four; Georgia, unable to see children in dire straits and not fix it completely, left for home in the second week, leaving Darcy with a room to herself until mid-way through the fifth month, where Susan (a red-head with a foul mouth and a strong hatred for spotty wi-fi) showed up to help out. At some point, Darcy learned not to get too attached to the volunteers that came and went; she grew friendships with the program staff, the kids, and her host family only. But even those could have their downsides.

In the third month of the program, one of the kids didn't show up. One day wasn't something to worry about, even two was acceptable, but when a week had passed, they really started to worry. Darcy found out that he'd died during the night; cold, hungry, and alone. Nobody had known who to contact when they'd found him and so they hadn't contacted anybody. While the program workers faces had been stricken, Darcy could read in their eyes that it wasn't something new. These kids lived on the streets, in the  _slums_ , not all of them were going to make it.

It was a harsh reality that turned her stomach to stone. She stared at the kids she taught and she worried that tomorrow one of their faces wouldn't be staring back at her.

There were a few days where Darcy felt like she was in a fog; she thought of her philosophy class and how they'd debated life and death, of what it all meant. And she became angry that they were sitting in a classroom, debating the subject, when there were children faced with the reality of it every day.

Anala found her, sitting on the ground, her back against the wall of the school they taught in. It was more like a cement room with a red roof and brightly painted outer walls. The ground surrounding it was a mixture of dirt and cracked pavement, with sprigs of grass and weeds growing through. There was a lot for playing in and an old basketball hoop set up, missing the net; just a tall metal pole with a faded orange ring to throw the balls through.

"Miss Darcy is sad?" Anala asked, leaning her head against Darcy's arm. "It is okay… Utpal is safe now. He sleeps. There is no hunger in sleep. Only arms. He finds his ancestors there; they hug him close and they keep him warm." She nodded, stroking Darcy's hair. "Be happy for Utpal, Miss."

Darcy closed her eyes against the bite of tears and hugged an arm around Anala. She nodded, her throat burning hollow. "Why don't you come inside with me, huh kid? You can braid my hair and we'll work on our alphabet, okay?"

She hopped up, twirling her arms out. "I will get the beads!" she declared, hurrying off.

She rolled her eyes, smiling helplessly. She almost wished she hadn't given Anala the clay beads she'd found one morning as she joined Rani on her shopping. Seeing a large bag of them, she'd immediately thought of her favorite little pupil and bought them on impulse. Darcy had figured they'd be used for necklaces or something; she'd even helped Anala paint each of them bright, eye-catching colors. But Anala had taken to keeping many of them in the pockets of her shorts and started adding them to the braids she was always making of Darcy's hair, which knocked together when she walked and slapped her in the face if she turned her head too fast.

Darcy stood from the ground, rubbing at her nose quickly, and followed after her, smiling as Anala danced her way into the school, singing under her breath.

There was still an ache in her heart and she still thought of little Utpal with his too long arms and legs and the way he would nearly rocket off the floor, throwing his hand up in the air when he knew the answer to a question. But she told herself that maybe Anala was right; maybe in some way, he was safe.

She focused on those that were left and she made sure she memorized every face, ever smile, every laugh and giggle and snort. All the while telling herself that it would be  _enough_.

…

During the fifth month, Darcy started wondering if she could stay in Calcutta; if she could actually  _work_ for the organization and stay on full time. She wrote her mother this, only to get a long letter back detailing that now that she had these skills and understood what she liked, why didn't she come home and get a real job in education, like she'd first planned?

She considered it. She really did. She loved teaching kids and she loved that she was doing something that was good for others. But there was a part of her that was beginning to wonder if she could ever really go back, ever adapt to life at home again. She was used to the school and Calcutta. She was used to Rani and Basu, Anala, and the kids that circled her feet as soon as she left her building to walk toward the school. She was learning Bengali to the point that while she butchered it when she spoke, she understood it when others spoke, not perfectly but enough.

All her life, Darcy just wanted to make a difference; she wanted to do something good for the world; and she thought this was it.

But life wasn't perfect and she had to admit that maybe she was making Calcutta out to be a haven or her Utopia so she wouldn't have to face her own life back in the States.

She wondered if that was selfish; staying on with these people, burying herself in these kids, so she could continue hiding.

Reality couldn't be ignored for too long, though. It had a way of creeping in when she least expected it.

…

When Sunil got sick, she tried to steel herself against what might happen.

He was young, four and a half, and he he'd come down with the measles the week before. Darcy wasn't exactly up to date on how that was treated; she was given a first aid course when she first started volunteering, which came in handy considering she was one of the few people who didn't get squicked out at the sight of blood or broken bones. Kids would be kids and getting hurt was just a milestone of growing up, she guessed. Though, there were some that were hurt worse than others.

It turned out that sometimes measles came with pneumonia as a sequel, and Darcy knew that spelled out bad things. Money was an issue; taking him to see a good doctor wasn't cheap. Buying the antibiotics wouldn't be cheap either and while Darcy had some loose change on her, she wasn't exactly rolling in the dough. Plus, as if her mom knew having access to the funds meant that Darcy would find a way to just stay in Calcutta forever, she was limited on what she could and couldn't take out of her college fund.

So Sunil's health was in his family's hands; a small, poverty-stricken group of three that lived in the slums.

Night was much cooler and Darcy wrapped one of Rani's shawls around her shoulders as she left the building. Walking in the slums at night wasn't smart, but as much as Darcy had tried to prepare herself in the event that little Sunil would not live, she couldn't. She'd been up for hours, tossing and turning in her bed, before finally she told herself that she had to see him. She had to say goodbye or soothe him or do  _something_.

She'd been to Sunil's once before; like all the kids at the school, he was eager to show her his home and his few possessions. Finding it in the dead of night was a little different, but there were a few people she knew still awake and they directed her to the right place.

Sunil's home was more or less a hut, a mixture of wood, corrugated metal, and fabric thrown together to make a rickety house. It was lit up inside with the glow of candles. Darcy hesitated a moment before gathering her courage. She knocked her fist lightly against the door and waited.

Tarapada, Sunil's father, answered. He bowed his head in greeting.

"I… I heard about Sunny," she said, shrugging apologetically. "I just wanted to check on him. I…" She scratched at her head awkwardly. "I know it's late. I'm sorry. I just…"

He held the door open wide for her to come inside.

Ashapoorna, his wife, walked over, taking Darcy's hand and squeezing. "Doctor. He come, he take care of my Sunil," she said, bright tears in her eyes.

Darcy's brow furrowed even as her chest ached with relief. "You… H-How? How'd you get a doctor out here?" she wondered.

Asha and Tarapada shared a look before her eyes fell to the floor and she murmured, " _Ghost_."

She stopped for a second, taking it in. There had been whispers these last few weeks, that there was a man, an American, who was very rarely seen and incredibly hard to find. But he was a doctor, a really good one, and he was offering medical help to those who were stuck in the slums and couldn't afford it. Some thought he was evil; they said the way he hid, how he moved through the shadows, that it was a bad sign. A few people tried to ward themselves and their homes from him, like they thought he snuck in to steal the life from one person to give to another.

Darcy wasn't so superstitious. She thought it was more likely that he was on the run and just didn't want to be seen or caught or even recognized. But she really didn't care. All she wanted was for Sunil to be okay.

Sunil was young and bright and every day he asked Darcy for a piggy-back ride that she was helpless against, so more often than not she walked around with a head full of wonky, beaded braids, and a little boy on her back. The fact that she would still  _get_ to have that boy on her back made her heart squeeze with overwhelming relief.

"Did he want anything? Money? Food? Shelter?" Darcy wondered. "I—I can help, if you guys need it. I mean, hell, he can have my bed if he wants…"

"It's nice of you to offer, but unnecessary," a deep, very obviously American voice replied.

Darcy whirled, her eyes wide, and found herself staring at a mop of unruly dark curls. He was dressed in a sweat- and dirt-stained shirt that she could very much relate to and a worn pair of olive green khakis. He offered a half-smile and a nod before turning to Ashapoorna and Tarapada. "Sunil's doing better… He'll need rest, plenty of liquids, and I'm going to leave you guys some ibuprofen; he might have some mild pain…" He dug into his pocket and took out a bottle, rattling it before he handed it to them. "If he starts coughing, don't worry, it'll help clear out the lungs. We caught it early and I think he's going to do really well." He paused and looked between them. "I can translate that, if you want…" he offered sheepishly.

"No, no, is fine," Asha assured, nodding. "I understand." She hurried forward, hugging her hands to her chest and nodding her head at him. "Thank you! You save my Sunil. He is my treasure!"

The doctor rubbed uncomfortably at the back of his neck and took a step back. "I—It's fine. I'm just glad I could help." He gathered up his bag and started toward the door, avoiding eye contact. "I'll be back in a few days to check up on him."

As Asha moved to see her son, bending down by his bed, crying against his hand, Darcy hung back. She looked to Tarapeda and offered a smile. "Tell the little warrior I'll be by in a few days; I'll bring his favorite book…"

"Thank you, Miss, for coming to see him," Tarapeda told her, following her to the door.

She grinned. "Hey, he's one of my favorites."

Feeling good that Sunil was going to make a recovery, Darcy started away from his house, weaving in and out of the others that were all so closely pushed together that she had to hold her breath to squeeze through some of them, regretting the family genes that made her chest hard to maneuver in some spots. As she broke free from the crammed huts, she could make out the faint figure up ahead, walking the dirt road. She was 90% sure it was the doctor and told the other skeptical 10% that was concerned about chasing after a stranger in the dark to shove it before she quickened her steps. Since subtlety wasn't her forte, she straight up shouted after him, "Hey Doc! Wait up!"

The man stilled for a moment, obviously hearing her, before beginning to walk again, somewhat but not much slower. She rolled her eyes. By the time she caught up to him, she was panting a little. "Since you're American, I'm going to just assume you thought it was totally cool not to wait up like a gentleman or whatever…" she complained.

He snorted. "Since  _you're_ America, I'll assume you grew up never taking the hint…"

Her mouth curled up in a grin. "Makes things interesting." She turned her head and looked up at him. "So look, what you did back there for Sunny…" She shrugged. "It was really cool…"

" _Cool_ ," he repeated, his voice amused.

"Yes, would you like me to break out the big words just because you've got a PhD or…?" She shook her head. "Can we avoid the pretentious shit and just be real here?"

He turned to look at her, an eyebrow raised at her candor. "How do you know the family?" he wondered. "You're obviously not a local."

She shrugged. "I could say the same thing about you, but I think we both know you're the shadow creature everybody's talking about…"

"Is that what they're calling me?" His mouth tipped wryly. "Hmm…"

"Well, some of them think you're stealing souls from the strong to give to the weak, like some kind of weird, twisted, Robin Hood thing." She waved a dismissive hand. "And others just think you're a God or a Saint that comes down to help out the sick and underprivileged…"

"Is that all?" His brows hiked. "And you? Miss…?"

"Just Darcy." She tugged on the end of the shawl and shrugged. "I think you're a dude on the run who happened to be a doctor before you fucked your life up somehow and now you're trying to make up for it by saving people…"

He stopped walking; she made it two feet before she realized. When she looked back, he was staring at her warily, and then he had her by the arms and he was squeezing. "Who  _told_ you? Who're you  _with?_ " he yelled. For a moment, she thought his eyes had flashed a bright, neon green.

She stared up at him, wide-eyed. "Whoa, dial it back, Doc…" She struggled against his hold, but his hands were like steel. "Nobody  _told_ me, I'm just  _observant!_ " She scoffed. "And seriously, I teach English and shapes and shit to kids… I'm here with a volunteer group!"

He glared down at her like he was picking her apart, trying to figure out if she was telling the truth or not. And then, slowly, his face fell, still wary but not worried. He released her and took a step back. "I…" He ran a hand through his hair nervously. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you…" He swallowed, looking between each of her arms where she was rubbing away the sting. "Did I hurt you? I—" He walked forward again but she stumbled back a few steps. He winced. "Sorry. I— I'm really sorry."

She glared. "Rude much?"

"Well…" He plucked his glasses off and cleaned them with the edge of his shirt. "You  _did_ accuse me of being a fugitive…"

"Uh, I don't think you would've freaked out that much if you  _weren't_ ," she reminded with a huff.

He pressed his lips together in a line. "In any case, I shouldn't have… reacted that way and I'm truly sorry." He cleared his throat, looked away, and then started walking. "Please give my regards to Sunil and his family.

Darcy let him leave, spending a few seconds listening to the logical and illogical sides of her brain fight it out, and then she chased after him. "Hey…" She rolled her eyes when he didn't slow down and sped up, putting herself directly in front of him so he couldn't just keep going. She put her hands up, gesturing peace, her palms just brushing his chest before he stumbled back like she'd burned him. "Look, I just… Whatever that was, whatever nerve I hit, just ignore me…" She shook her head. "I mean, you could work on your people and personal boundary skills, but… Whatever reason you have for being here, it's not my business." She shrugged. "If you weren't around, Sunil might not live and that…" Her feet shuffled. "It would've been seriously tragic because that little monster is awesome."

He stared at her a long moment. "Do you call all the children you teach monsters?"

She nodded, grinning. "Monsters, brats, squishy midgets…"

He bit his lip in a way that made her think he might be trying to stifle a smile. "It's an interesting teaching technique."

She shrugged. "I'm an interesting person."

"I'm beginning to notice that."

With a snort, she held a hand out. "So truce?" She wiggled her fingers. "You save my kids, I teach my kids, and everything's kosher?"

He stared at her hand a long moment. "You're not concerned? What I might've done, why I might be on the run?"

"Not my business, remember?" She raised an eyebrow. "Come on, Doc, don't leave me hanging. It's rude, both here  _and_  back in the States."

His mouth twitched, but finally, hesitantly, he reached out, letting their hands come together.

She pumped his in a quick, hard shake, and then used it to drag him a few steps closer. Smiling up into his surprised face, she told him, "Thank you." And then she popped up on the tips of her toes, kissed his cheek, and fled past him, walking away down the street, feeling oddly triumphant.

When she looked back, he was gone, but she smugly remembered how he'd inhaled sharply, his dark brown eyes going wide as she invaded his space. She could still feel the sharp sting of his whiskers under her lips. Sure, it was stupid; he was a stranger and almost definitely on the run from the US government, but he'd saved a little boy's life.

That warranted a kiss and no questions asked in her books.

…

Sunil made a full recovery.

Darcy visited him every day to read him his favorite book.

When he returned to school, he read it to her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **!Trigger/Warning!** : There is an **attempted** rape in this chapter! It is _not_ done  by a main character, but _to_ a main character.

**II.**

The second time Darcy met the shadow creature known as Doc, he was standing on the outskirts near the school. His hands were in his pockets and he was leaning against an old building, watching. If she didn't know him, she might think he was perving on the kids. But when she got closer to the school, she realized he wasn't really paying attention to the children, he was instead searching around and, she didn't think it was too self-involved to assume, looking for her. Maybe he was checking out her story, she wasn't sure, but she felt it when he spotted her; his eyes zeroed in and followed her across the paved lot. She had Anala's hand in hers, who was swinging their arms back and forth as she made hop-scotch of walking. Two of the older boys, ten and twelve respectively, were at her heels, chatting away about something they'd read in the book they were sharing, playfully shoving each other's shoulders. Bimal, a sweet, shy little eight year old, was pressed up against her side, one of his arms wrapped around her leg. Her hand rested on top of his head, threaded in his too-long hair.

When the other kids spotted her, a cry of, "Miss Darcy!" rang up before they all hurried to greet her, talking all at once.

She laughed. "One at a time…" She pointed at Sanjeev. "You, what were you saying?"

"I read the book. I read it all!" he told her happily. "My mother and my father, they ask me to read it to them, and I did!"

She gave him a thumbs up and then held her hand out. "High-five me, kid."

He did, smiling proudly.

"Me! Me next!" Leela cried, rocking forward on her feet. "Please, Miss Darcy, I have something to say!"

"Sure, Leela, tell it to me straight…" she encouraged.

As she ushered the kids toward the school, she dug out her key from her back pocket; they crowded in close as she unlocked the door and swung it open, waving them inside. When she looked back over her shoulder, the Doc was gone, just an empty space in the shadow of a building where he'd been standing, and she wondered if he got what he was looking for.

"—and then the tiger ated my little brother and it was a delicious meal!"

Rolling her eyes, Darcy looked back. "Leela, there is almost  _no_ way that happened… You wanna know how I know?" She pointed at a boy three paces over. "You've only got one brother and Upa does not look like regurgitated tiger food…"

Leela sighed, shoulders slumping. "But it was a good story, yes?"

She laughed. "Aside from the part where I like your brother and don't want him to get eaten, sure. One of your best!" She winked.

"I have another!" she told her, perking up happily.

"Nope, one only," she denied, shaking her head before she pointed at another boy. "It's Samaresh's turn. Come on Sammy, what've you got for me?"

And so her morning went, listening to their stories, one at a time, getting updated on what happened between school ending and beginning, as she moved around the room, gathering books and materials, setting up for the day.

All the while, she wondered about her life and what it had become and what, if anything, the strange doctor might bring to it. Darcy, probably like too many of her ancestors, was a betting woman, and she was putting her money on the fugitive doctor being unable to avoid her milkshake. Which, yes, hadn't really brought any boys to her yard— at least not any that were legal or she'd want  _partaking_ in her jelly… And crap, she was mixing up her songs now. Anyway, the point was, she was pretty sure Doctor Fluffy— and damn she needed to figure out his name —would be coming by to see her again. Not just because she was a few shades of awesome, even though she totally was, but also because she'd seen something in him that night that they talked. A loneliness and a hope that something could maybe change; she'd seen it in some of the kids she taught and she saw it in him too.

Now Darcy wasn't going to get overconfident and say that she could change his life, but… Something— and she thought it might be the same thing that told her she needed to go to Calcutta and find herself —told her that this guy was going to change her life.

Maybe for the better, maybe for the worse, but it was going to happen.

Hopping up onto the desk at the front of the class, she perused the room of eager faces, and told herself she was ready for that. Ready for whatever life had to offer, good or bad. Following her gut this far had done her good, so what was one more leap of faith?

Later, she would seriously question the legitimacy of her gut; it was very obviously not of the same quality as beloved TV character, Gibbs.

…

She heard bits and pieces through the grapevine.

Rani was kind of a gossip, so she was Darcy's best source of information.

"I hear things, you know. I hear things about him and how he moves. They say that he hugs the walls, blends like shadows…" She nodded, her eyebrows hiked. "Sukumar, he say to my Basu that his boy, Rupam, got very sick. So sick that he didn't think he make it through the night… Then the shadow, he come and he bring medicine, he tell them that Rupam will live." Rani reached out and took Darcy's hand, patting it. "Sometimes, the shadows, they are brighter than the dark."

Darcy swung her legs from where she saw on the counter; something that always made Rani slap her knee and flick her fingers to get her down. "So you think he's a good guy? You don't buy into the evil spirit stealing souls thing?"

"Ahh!" She shook her head. "The bad man, he take from the weak and give to the powerful…" She shook her finger. "This man, this  _doctor_ , he has the hope in his heart. Like us…" She patted her chest. "Like my Basu and me; we have hope, we have faith, we  _give!_ "

Humming, Darcy sat back and thought it over. "Well, I just think he's cute."

Laughing good and loud, Rani reached over and pinched her knee. "American hearts,  _so_ …" She weighed her hands back and forth.

Snorting, Darcy hopped down. "Hey, you don't know, he could be my soul mate or something…" She grinned. "I think shadow creature is right up my alley."

With a scoff, Rani ushered her out of the kitchen, smiling wryly all the same.

Instead of letting the subject drop, Darcy felt out a few of the volunteers and the organizers to see if they'd heard anything about the doctor. They had a few stories, but they were all 'arrived suddenly, saved the day' type things. Except for Rani, who had a way of spinning a good tale; even if she did always make it sound like the doctor was an avenging angel who appeared from thin air and then majestically left when his good deed was done.

Darcy didn't want to ask too hard; she was a little worried that if she put too much emphasis on it that the wrong sort of people would start noticing. She didn't know  _why_ she felt like she owed it to him not to alert the authorities, because sometimes she really thought about it and maybe he did something crazy bad and she was kind of helping him hide out. But then she thought,  _no way!_ No way would a man save a stranger's life, a little  _boy's_ life, if he was really some totally evil asshole. It was the only comfort she had, really.

And then she wondered if maybe she was just projecting or something. Because once or twice she'd thought she'd seen him outside the school again. Through the window while she was teaching or out of the corner of her eye while she was playing with the kids. She thought she'd seen the scruffy outline of him, hiding in the shadows, watching. And if it wasn't like Twilight creepy, she might be flattered. But mostly, she just wanted to pick him apart and see what made him do it, why he was there. Because her? She'd started this whole thing because she didn't know what she wanted out of life; because she had no direction or purpose. But it seemed like there was something else going on for him. And maybe it was her philosophy classes kicking in or her high school psychology course pushing her, but she wanted to know what made him tick.

Curiosity killed the cat.

…

The third time, Darcy actually got to talk to him.

"Ah-hah!" She leapt out from where she'd been carefully hidden around a corner and grinned as the good doctor flinched, stumbling back a few steps, rolling his eyes at himself.

"Cute," he muttered, self-consciously smoothing out and readjusting his clothes. Clearing his throat, he raised an eyebrow, and said, "I was just—"

"Stalking me like a stalky stalking stalker?" she interrupted with a knowing smirk.

He blinked.

She shrugged. "I work with kids, I've gotta keep an eye out for pervs or like, child smuggling rings or whatever…"

"Okay…" He reached up and scratched at his temple, where grey had begun to tinge his hair. "Um, well, I was just… I wanted to keep an eye on a few of my patients. You, uh, seem to have a few of them in your class…"

It was Darcy's turn to blink. "Seriously, that's the excuse you want to go with?"

He frowned. "As opposed to…?"

"I don't know…" She shrugged. "An unhealthy attachment to that hot woman you made some weird connection with in the middle of a dark slum after you kind of, sort of attacked her for making a totally reasonable observation?"

He paused, mouth hanging open slightly. "When you put it that way, I think I might need to see a psychologist…" he muttered.

"Yeah, well, I'm a hot woman who just surprise-greeted the stalky stalker who attacked me once in the middle of a dark slum for making conversation, so…" She shrugged. "Maybe it's mutual?"

"If we get back-to-back appointments, it would make my stalking easier," he said, his lips twitching.

Her eyes flashed wide in surprise. "Aw, look at you…" She reached over and socked him in the arm. "That was a joke, Doc. Color me impressed!"

"Whereabouts on Roy G. Biv was that located?" His eyebrow quirked. "I might have to send away for it…"

She snorted and told him as she grinned, "All right, but I only do nude portraits."

He made a choked noise and dropped his eyes, first to her chest and then, just as quickly, to the ground.

She laughed. "What? No witty comeback?" She wiggled her eyebrows. "Should I be flattered that I've got you tongue-tied?"

He ran a hand through his hair awkwardly and raised his eyes to meet hers. "Do you always flirt with abusive strangers on the run from authorities?"

"Meh, only the cute ones," she said, dismissively.

He bit his lip in that way that told her he was stifling a smile and then sobered just as quick. "Since we're discussing that night… I'd like to reiterate my apology…" He shook his head. "There's no excuse for my behavior. I reacted the wrong way; I just…" His brow furrowed.

"Hey, I get it; you thought I was some undercover agent or something…" She laughed then, loud and abrupt. "Oh my god, you thought I was an undercover agent!" She held her arms out, her eyes wide, " _Me!_ "

He half-smiled. "So it was a little far-fetched."

"Oh,  _no_ …" She shook her head. "I think my cut-off jeans, completely shitty language skills, and the fact that I'm basically a college drop-out at this point just  _screams_ G-man… woman…  _person_."

He perked up. "You were in college?"

"Mm-hmm." She nodded. "Culver University. It's—"

"I know," he interrupted, his eyes turning to the side. "I… I'm familiar with it."

"Huh." She shrugged. "Well, I started out in education; figured I had the chops for teaching kids and then realized yeah, probably not the best idea…" She used both hands to point at her chest. "Would you believe it was a kid in Starbucks staring at these that told me I didn't want to be a teacher?"

His eyes fell helplessly toward her chest before he cleared his throat and darted his gaze back to meet hers, only to find her smirking. "Considering your reasoning and now that you're here,  _teaching kids_ , I'm starting to think your thought process is a little skewed…"

"Oh, it's all over the place," she agreed, nodding. "But it made sense at the time… Or I panicked and cut and ran, totally possible…" She stared off to the side thoughtfully. "Anyway, I tried philosophy after that, but…" She pointed at her mouth. "As you can probably tell, me in a room full of intellectuals was like having Patrick Star run for president…"

He frowned. "Intelligence isn't strictly based on verbal skills… I've seen you work with the kids…" He turned his head back toward the school he'd been not-so-subtly scoping out. "You can connect with them; make them excited to learn… It's your presence." He stared at her thoughtfully. "You resonate with people."

She hummed. "Is that why you're stalking me?" she asked, before kicking her brain-to-mouth filter for being a total dick and ruining a moment.

He chuckled under his breath. "Partly…"

"And also you weren't completely sure I wasn't rocking a badge, right?" She held her hands up in surrender. "I'm not gonna lie; I was once a Fireside Girl… I've got a Reckless Disregard for Life and Limb patch to prove it, too!"

"I'm not sure patches and badges are the same thing…" he said slowly, before his eyes narrowed. "And also, I think the Fireside Girls are from a popular cartoon…"

"Way to get specific, Dr. Doofenschmirtz…" she drawled.

"I…" He frowned uncertainly. "You could call me Bruce."

She smiled then. "Did we just have a breakthrough?"

He rolled his eyes and shuffled his feet. "I should be going… You probably have class."

Darcy looked over her shoulder at the school, surrounded by eager, waiting kids. "Yeah, my little midgets are probably getting anxious." She turned back toward him. "All right, well…" She stuck a hand out. "Now that you know I'm not a G-person and that I know you're stalking me,  _badly_ I might add…"

He snorted.

"Maybe now you'll just, do the normal thing and like, I dunno,  _say hi?_ " She reached out and took his hand, noticing but not commenting on his flinch. "Here, I'll show you how to wave…" She curved his fingers and then flapped his hand in a completely moronic and not at all attractive way.

He bit his lip. "If you ever wave at me like that, I'm going to stick to the shadows just so I'm never seen with you…"

Darcy threw her head back and laughed. "Okay, okay… Although I'd like to point out that the locals call you shadow creature, so I probably won't take much offense, lurking being your default setting and all…"

He sighed. "I'll make a conscious effort to stop stalking you if you'll stop accusing me of it."

"I'll stop accusing you of it when I stop seeing you stalking me."

His mouth twitched. "So you're saying I just have to get better at it then…?"

She shook her head. "I don't want to burst your bubble, but handsome scruffy American is a little hard to hide…" She reached up and ruffled the thick curls of his hair, sending up a little dust. "Although I bet if you showered and shaved, I'd have a hard time picking you out of a line-up…"

He ducked his head a little, his face looking almost flushed, and then took a step back and rubbed his own hand over his hair. "Is it really that bad?"

"Nah…" She smiled at him, tucking her hands in her the back pockets of her cut-offs. "Some people can pull off the hot, awkward look." She winked before backing up, starting for the school. "Don't forget!  _Wave_ …" She mimicked her awful wave, pleased when he grinned. "And  _hi!_ "

He saluted her. "Next time," he assured.

"Looking forward to it!"

With a light chuckle, she turned and didn't bother hiding her mile-wide smile.

That fascination she'd started out with over Doctor Fluffy, now fondly known as Bruce?

Tripled.

…

She was repeating herself, she knew that, but she couldn't help it.

"Ugh, he was just so  _cute!_ " Darcy exclaimed.

Susan rolled her eyes from where she laid on her single bed, her laptop open, the glow of her Dashboard lighting her up. "I get it; he was a hot piece…" She tucked a loose strand of auburn hair behind her ear. "Pictures or it doesn't count."

Nose wrinkled, she quirked an eyebrow. "Pictures of  _what_ exactly?"

She wiggled her eyebrows. "You tell me; you're the one who can't stop drooling over his  _fluffy_ hair…"

"Whatever… When you see him, you'll get it…" She raised an eyebrow. "Seriously… He's just all…" She moved her hands as if to encompass his whole self. "Tanned and handsome and smart and funny and he's got this grey streak—"

"By his temple that you just want to stroke, yeah, I know." She sighed. "Look, if I didn't think reminding you of YOLO would make be cringe, I'd use it… But really, I'm just gonna say that you've only got like, what? A month and a half before you trade Calcutta in for American soil?" She shrugged. "I say hop on that  _fluffy_ train and enjoy it while it lasts!"

"Yeah, but you're a hoe…" Darcy grinned. "Look at all your husbands!"

Susan hugged her laptop. "Don't judge me just because I collect pretty celebrities and want to bear all their babies!"

Laughing, she flopped over onto her stomach, legs tucked under the blanket on her bed. Hugging her pillow, she declared, "Ship Susan with  _all the things!_ "

"Thanks for boarding; please, no planking on anything."

Darcy stuck out her lip in a pout. "Aww, not even the actual plank?"

She grunted, shaking her head. "We had it removed; too many people crying out 'feels' before they jumped off it."

"I hate it when one person ruins it for everyone…"

Susan snorted, but before she could say anything her wi-fi dropped and her page stopped loading. "Ugh! Motherfucking fuckitty fuckhead!"

Darcy nodded, reaching under her pillow for her iPod. "And that's my cue…"

"Why? Why do you do this to me, world? I walk everywhere; I never litter; just let me have my Tumblr!" Susan cried, banging her hands against the keyboard before she let out a wail of despair.

Chuckling under her breath, Darcy tucked her earbuds in and scrolled through her list.

 _Breathe in for luck,_  
breathe in so deep,  
this air is blessed,  
you share with me.  
This night is wild,  
so calm and dull,  
these hearts they race,  
from self control…

Smiling, she closed her eyes, and let herself dream about fluffy hair and a stifled smile.

…

She was almost disappointed that she didn't see him after that. He wasn't hiding out in the open, leaning against the wall, watching.

But there were times when she would look up from coaching her kids on pronunciation, and she thought she might've seen something.

Somewhere in the shadows.

Whether it was him or not, it made her smile.

And she knew she was in way over her head.

…

It was a week before she found a note taped to the door of the school. "Am I getting better yet? –B"

She laughed as she pulled it off, folded it, and tucked it in the pocket of her jeans.

She was pretty sure was she was crazy; most people wouldn't encourage their weird stalking-relationship.

When she left after school that day, she taped her own note to the same place for him.

_This is me waving at you. Don't forget to wave back._

…

The next morning, it was gone and there was no reply.

But when she joined a chatty Rani to get groceries, she spotted him out of the corner of her eye.

He was leaning against a wall near the mouth of an alley, his hands tucked in his pockets, watching her.

He stood a little taller when he realized she'd spotted him and then slowly, he raised his hand; it wasn't the ridiculous wave she'd 'taught' him, he more or less just held it high for her to see. And then, between a split in the crowd of moving people, she saw his hands move.

' _Hi,_ ' he mouthed.

She grinned widely.

Progress.

He didn't come to see her or meet Rani, in fact he disappeared from sight shortly after. But she felt accomplished, and totally ignored the voice in her head that sounded suspiciously like her mother, lamenting the fact that she never did anything the normal way.

…

The next time Darcy saw him, she was on her way home. She'd stayed too long at Anala's house, letting her braid her hair and listening to her stories and talking with her family. Her father, Arun, and her mother, Kiran, were always so happy to have her over, even though their English was borderline non-existent. Most of Darcy's conversations with them involved a lot of hand-shaking and nodding, although Anala tried to translate and Darcy, despite not being able to speak Bengali very well, still understood a lot of what was spoken. All she really knew for sure was that they appreciated her presence in Anala's life and the positive impact she was making. Not really good with praise, Darcy usually tried to play it off.

"I really like the brat, so don't worry about it," she would say, and instead of Anala translating, she would just stick her tongue out at Darcy playfully before dragging her away, making her sit on a pillow as she braided her hair, chatting about the other kids and what she learned or had trouble with in school that day, and what her dreams for her future were.

Before she left, Darcy would take out the ancient looking Polaroid camera she'd bought while in Calcutta and she'd take two pictures of her insane hair; one for Anala to keep and treasure, and one for her to add to her own collection.

Hugging it to her chest each time, Anala would kiss Darcy's cheek before she put it away for safe-keeping, added to the cardboard cigar box, faded and fraying at the edges, where she kept everything that spoke to her. One of the clay beads Darcy had given her was tucked inside too.

Night had fallen when she waved goodbye to the family crowded in the doorway to see her go. She frowned as she started the trek home, Basu and Rani were probably worried. They didn't like her going out late; it could be dangerous. Truthfully, aside from that time with Sunil, she was usually home and safe when it got dark. But Anala was just so sweet and when she asked her to stay longer, to let her braid more, she did.

She was regretting that now.

She could hear footsteps behind her; loud in the silence. Maybe it was fear that seeing them would make her right, but she refused to look over her shoulder to see if somebody was actually following her. Her heart raced so loudly it clouded the rest of her hearing, pounding thickly. She quickened her steps and kept moving, counting in her head, trying to tell herself that she wasn't far; she would be home soon; it would be okay.

But then a hand gripped her arm and she was swung around, stumbling at the jerking movement. Before she could get her bearings, she was dragged, her feet tripping one over the other, until finally she was slammed into the wall of a building so hard that her head ricocheted off of it. She cried out a curse word, eyes squeezed shut as they swam, and then kicked her legs out, waving her arms. When she opened her eyes, her vision was sideways for a second, before finally focusing on not one but two men. They were speaking Hindi and the one who'd grabbed her, pinned her shoulders to the wall. The other was laughing, reaching over his friend's shoulder to tug at her braids mockingly. He grinned at her savagely, showing a mouth full of rotting teeth, before his hands fell lower, reaching and squeezing, hips and breasts, wandering her body.

She gave a hoarse shout, her throat tightening, bile climbing. Her face went red with anger at the violation; she started screaming for help, kicking with her legs.

The second man gave her a stiff slap across her face that made her breath catch in her throat and her glasses fly, crashing to the ground. Panic welled up and she glared, her vision blurred from both a lack of her glasses and a glaze of stinging tears. She refused to give them the satisfaction of crying and instead spat in the closest man's face. His whole face curled up in rage and he released one of her shoulders so he could wipe her spit from his eye with the back of his hand, spitting curses at her.

Darcy took her opportunity and slammed her heel down on his foot hard enough that he cried out, pulling back and releasing her. She shoved at his chest as hard as she could; he stumbled back and knocked into the other man while she turned and started running, racing toward the mouth of an alley, only now realizing just how far away from the street they'd managed to pull her.

In all her time in Calcutta, she'd never seen this seedy side of it. The slums were terrible; the made her stomach twist and her heart wrench. But this…? She'd always been surrounded by so many good, beautiful, kind people. By kids who, despite everything, had hope inside of them. These men were not like them. Darcy made it around the corner and ten feet, before a hand wrapped around her hair and pulled. She gave a shriek as she was knocked off her feet and fell to the ground on her back, her whole body feeling it as pain lanced up and down her frame.

It scared and disgusted her that her short-lived freedom had come to an end again and that, as she felt a body climb on top of hers, it would be happening in the middle of a street. A street she had walked down she didn't know how many times. A street that, in the light of day, was filled with people, young and old, that waved and talked to her, that knew her name. A street that had windows looking down on it, filled with those same people. She screamed again, letting the sound echo, and prayed and pleaded that someone would hear her. She kicked and thrashed and beat her hands against the man's face, scraping her nails down his cheek.

He screamed, shouting things in her face that she couldn't understand.

"Fuck you! Go to hell!" she yelled back, her brain not working quite up to capacity on the insult's scale.

She felt tears break from the corners of her eyes and she gave a broken, angry cry, as she kept struggling, kept pushing. One of his hands coupled her wrists and pushed them down against the ground so hard that her knuckles split on the pavement. She felt his other hand on her jeans, pulling at the button, at the sides; she squeezed her legs shut, shaking her head.

His grubby hand slid down the front of her shorts and she reared her head back and brought it forward sharply; her forehead connected with his nose and she felt the crack. It hurt her, probably not as much as it did him, but she felt it sharply in her head. With a howl, he stumbled away from her, holding his shattered and bleeding nose with both hands.

Darcy rolled onto her stomach, blinking as her vision swam, and managed to get her knees up under her.

The second man appeared then, however, and slapped her across the face so hard that she was thrown back down on her stomach. Her eyes closed as a cracked whimper escaped her and she again pushed up onto her knees and elbows, unwilling to lay down and take it.

Her body tensed though, waiting for the sensation of him pushing her down and climbing on top. But when she heard a cry, her brow furrowed. She looked up, searching, and found her immediate vicinity empty. The man with the broken nose was still stumbling a way, shouting painfully, completely focused on himself. But the other one…

She turned over and leaned back, looking for him. Her lack of glasses made it hard to distinguish certain things, especially with how dark it was. Finally, squinting, she thought she saw a foot, a body on the ground, before it was dragged into the shadows.

She blinked repeatedly, confused.

And then there was a roar; a loud, vicious roar. Her heart jumped in her chest and her eyes widened.

For one brief second, she thought of Leela and her story about the tiger.

And then the ground was shaking, like something huge, something  _unbelievably_ large, was stomping its way through the back alleys.

She looked around, not sure what to do, before finally, taking it for the advantage it seemed to be, she managed to push herself up to her feet.

The man whose nose she'd broken was leaning against a wall be the opening of an alley; he followed the same fate as the other. But for a split-second, and that was all it took to happen, she could've sworn…

A green hand had wrapped around his body and pulled him in.

Darcy turned tail and ran; she could admit that.

It turned out her home was a lot farther than she'd been reassuring herself and it took nearly a half hour for it to be in sight. She nearly cried in relief when she was close enough to see the light on at Basu and Rani's. Sniffling, she felt the adrenaline running through her give out, and her whole body was shaking. She leaned against an adjacent building, her knees ready to collapse on her.

"Darcy?"

She jumped, giving a cry, and turned around abruptly, her eyes darting.

He stepped out of the shadows, bare-chested, his pants looking too large on his frame. He held his hands up to show he wasn't the enemy.

"Bruce," she said, her voice coming out in a croak. She reached up and wiped at her face, her nose running. "I… This… It—It's not a good time…"

He approached her slowly, constantly keeping eye contact. "Darcy, I think you might be going into shock…"

Her eyes turned away. "Shock? No, I… I was visiting Anala…" She reached a shaking hand up to her hair. "She did my braids… A-Aren't they pretty?"

"Darcy…" His hand touched her shoulder and she gave a whine, her whole body going still. "I'm not going to hurt you, okay? I'm your friend…"

Her heart started racing, her breathing picking up. "There were… And I was… And these guys… And then this thing… I—I don't… They tried to…" A tear slid down her cheek, followed by another and another. She shook her head. "Stupid. I was stupid."

"No, it's not your fault." He very slowly slid his hand up and down her arm. "Darcy, this is not your fault."

She shook her head.

"Hey… Look at me…" His fingers touched her chin, lifted her head. "Come on; just look me in the eye."

It took her a few seconds before she raised her eyes to meet his. Her brow furrowed. "Hi."

He smiled.

He had a nice smile.

"Hey."

"You have a nice smile," she told him, hiccupping.

And then her eyes rolled back in her head and she passed out.

…

Her dreams were just flashes…

Anala's voice.

The flash of the camera as she took a picture of her newly braided hair.

The skeevy laugh of one of her attackers.

_Green._

Bruce's smile.

Over and over, little bits and pieces, a mixture of good and bad, happy and terrifying.

…

Darcy woke to a splitting headache; her eyes darted, terrified, and she sat up, finding it was late morning and she was in her own bed. She dragged her blanket around her and up to her throat. A choked cry left her, every muscle in her body tightened to the point of pain.

But then, Rani was just there and sitting on the edge of her bed. Her hands were smoothing over Darcy's hair soothingly and she was pushing her to lie back down.

On seeing her, Darcy broke down again. She shook her head. "He—And I—There was—I didn't—Please—Please, please, please…" She was incoherent and her tears were clouding her eyes; she hiccupped on the gulping breaths being dragged in.

"I know, I know, sweet girl," Rani said, hugging her to her side, stroking her hair.

Rani smelled like home; or the home, at least, that Darcy had gotten used to. She smelled spicy and warm and she rocked Darcy in her arms like she imagined a mother would. Her own, seeming a lifetime and a world away, wasn't what Darcy wanted or needed at the moment. It was Rani's rough hands that rubbed her back and stroked her hair, knuckles lightly grazing the shell of her ear, that soothed her.

And then she just sang; a lullaby of sorts. Her voice lulling Darcy until her tears stopped, her body giving up the fight and becoming loose as a limp noodle, and finally she fell into a numb, dreamless sleep.

…

When she woke up later, she was more aware of what was happening, where she was.

It was night again and she curled in on herself, pulling her knees up to her chest.

The light turned on overhead when dinner was near; it was Basu's voice that called to her, softer, gentler than she remembered.

"Are you awake, darling girl?"

Her eyes moved slowly to the doorway. "I'm not feeling dinner tonight, Bas."

He sighed softly and moved into her room, taking a seat on the edge of Susan's bed. He took a moment to clean his round glasses on his shirt.

Darcy found she liked the routine; she liked watching him do something so simple, taking care to rub out each blemish from his glasses, making them clean and perfect and useable again. "Your doctor friend brought you home, did Rani tell you?"

She frowned, shaking her head. "I kind of remember seeing him. I… It's a little blurry."

"He was very worried about you…" He clasped his hands in his lap. "He carried you home and he brought you to your room. He sat with you, right there on the floor…" He pointed to a spot near the front of her bed, where her head was. "He refused to leave you, but he told us what happened… He told us that you were attacked, that he was too late to do anything but help you home…"

Darcy's throat squeezed. "They didn't… I wasn't…" She clawed her fingers at her throat as it burned. "It was  _close_ …"

He hummed, nodding. "Your doctor thought so."

Her brow furrowed painfully tight. "I couldn't… I didn't understand what they were saying; they just kept gra-grabbing at me and I…" Her lips folded as she bit her tongue.

"You do not have to tell me," Basu offered, shaking his head. "What happened to you, it was a violation of your person and your soul… It was not right and I…" His hands unfolded and fisted to the point of shaking before he finally wrapped his palms over his knees. "I feel rage in my heart for you… I want to hurt those men for hurting you…" He shook his head. "I have always been a peaceful man; I've always thought it was better to live my life as I thought others should and hope that they follow… I have seen a great many horrible things in my life and knowing that someone I care about, that I treasure as dear to me as a daughter, was hurt in any way… It turns my stomach and sets fire to my heart." He stared at her earnestly. "No one deserves that hurt… But you…? You I wish it on even less."

Darcy's eyes burned until a few tears managed to escape. She offered a shaky smile. "You're good people, Basu…" She swallowed tightly. "And I think… I feel…" She closed her eyes and squeezed them tight. "My dad was a total jerk; he never cared. But when I'm here and around you guys, and even just watching you when you do your books or you're listening to Rani's gossip, I… You're like that really awesome dad I never had growing up, okay?" She forced her eyes open and stared through her tears. "And I hate that I took away your Gandhi calm or whatever."

He moved slowly from the bed and knelt beside hers, pressing a hand to her cheek and rubbing away a tear with his thumb. He shushed her softly. "It was not you who took it, but those men… Remember that." He stared at her levelly. "You did nothing wrong. You are a victim."

Her nose wrinkled. "I don't  _want_ to be."

His lips moved slowly into a faint smile. "Ah, you are a strong girl…" He patted her cheek. "The strongest I have ever known besides my Rani."

She gave a half-grin then, a chuckle breaking out. "That's like, the biggest Basu compliment ever."

He nodded.

Darcy reached up and covered his hand, squeezing it. "I'm still not ready to eat," she told him.

"Then I will sit with you until you are," he offered. Keeping her hand in his, he turned, taking a seat with his back to her bed.

It was a few minutes, the wafting scent of food making its way into her room, and her stomach coiling tighter and tighter, before he spoke again.

"Your doctor said that there were two men who attacked you…"

She hummed, nodding.

"Unusual, but… There were two men found killed in two separate alleys not far from here… They were torn into pieces like a rabid animal had gotten at them… Some say they were pummeled so completely that their bones were like dust."

Her heart gave a tug as her eyes turned off and she remembered what she thought was her attackers being dragged into the dark.

"They're dead?" she whispered.

He didn't reply, but she was sure that it was them and Basu knew it.

Darcy told herself it wasn't wrong to be happy. That sure, human life mattered, but in this case maybe not so much. She was sure her philosophy class would've had a great time picking that line of thinking apart. All she knew was the men who'd attacked her were probably dead. Something inside her told her that the men who died were them.

And whoever her savior was, he was huge… and possibly green.

She silently thanked him.

Something loosened inside of her; a tension that radiated from head to toe.

"I think I'm ready to try dinner, Basu."

…

Darcy took a week off from volunteering to recuperate and convince herself she wasn't scared of the outside world and what could have happened.

Rani played a huge part in helping her come to grips with everything.

"When I was very young, just thirteen years old, I was attacked by a man I had known all my life," she told her one morning as they sat together, sewing.

Rani didn't look up from the repairs she was doing on one of Basu's favorite shirts.

Darcy stared at her, hands stilled. "You were?"

"He was my father's friend, a man we considered family…" She nodded, her hands shaking slightly as she continued to sew, faster now. "He tried to violate me, tried to make me do things to him…" She shook her head and chewed at her lip. "I did not understand… I cried and I screamed and I push—I push him away. But he was…  _stronger_ than me… I was very little, very naïve, I did not know what was happening." She raised her eyes slowly and looked at Darcy. "My mother, she come, she hear me yelling, and she hit him, hurt him until he stopped." She waved a hand at her face. "There was blood all over his face, I remember. He ran away and he never come back."

"Were you scared after?" She knotted her hands. "Like you thought he'd come back one day and, I dunno, finish what he started or…  _kill_ you or something?"

She nodded. "I kept a knife in my bed. I didn't want to leave my home. My mother, she  _never_  leave me alone!"

Darcy sat back. "So how'd you get over it?"

"My father, he tell me that being afraid is letting him win… He took my hand and he brought me outside and he told me that the world is not always beautiful… I could either let it be less beautiful by hiding away or I could make it less ugly by being a part of it." She stared at Darcy. "You are a beautiful heart, Darcy. You make the world beautiful  _with_  your heart. Those men, they try to take that from you, but you fight, you keep that!" She banged a fist against her chest. "Don't let them win. Don't let the world be ugly."

With that, Rani turned back to her sewing and said, "My Basu, he have this shirt ten years… Sometimes I want to throw it away; it's old and faded and all the holes I sew just open back up…" She shook her head. "But it's a good shirt; even when it falls apart, it keeps its shape… I repair it and it is just as good as it ever was, maybe better." She looked up at her. "Yes?"

Darcy stared back. "Yes."

Smiling, she nodded. " _Yes_."

It wasn't perfect; Darcy didn't magically heal herself. Often, Rani would have to come to her when she woke up in the midst of a nightmare, but she would soothe her back to sleep or relate her own experiences, and it would be enough to remind Darcy that there was relief, there was healing. She still jumped at loud noises and she constantly looked over her shoulder, even when she was just at home, surrounded by the people she trusted most. But she told herself that one day she wouldn't do that, and it was enough.

…

The knock at the door wasn't uncommon, but it still made Darcy's skin crawl when the outside world tried to push in. She let Basu answer it and instead focused on the course outline she'd been going over for when she returned to the school.

"Darcy, it is for you," Basu told her, drawing her attention.

She leaned back from where she was sitting on the floor to see through the open door across the room.

When she saw a fidgeting doctor on the other side, she half-smiled and stood. "Well if it isn't my hero," she said in greeting. Standing, she crossed the room and replaced Basu as he stepped back to give them privacy.

Bruce cleared his throat. "I'd hardly call myself that," he said shaking his head. His face was stricken when he told her, "I was too late to… really save you."

"No way, are you kidding?" She leaned in the doorway. "Look, I was kicking would-be rapist ass anyway. And hey, I got away…" She shrugged. "If you hadn't shown up when you did, I don't know if I'd…" She bit her lip, swallowing tightly. "It was just a really close call, y'know? And you were there so, that's… It just— It matters." She nodded.

He stared at her a long moment, not saying anything.

"They're dead," she told him. And she realized it was the first time she said anything about it since Basu had told her, since she recognized it. She checked over her shoulder to see that Rani was listening, watching them out of the corner of her eyes. She hadn't stopped mentioning the 'handsome doctor' since Darcy had explained that she knew him.

Stepping out into the hall, she closed the door behind her, crossed her arms over her chest, and then watched Bruce, who was standing incredibly still, his eyes on the floor.

"They are?" he asked, his voice pitched a little lower.

"Yup," she said, popping the 'p.' "I… It's weird, I just… Basu, he said these bodies were found in a couple of alleys outside of where I was… attacked and I just  _knew_ …" She shook her head, her feet shuffling. "Something happened… That night, when they attacked me."

His head lifted, eyes staring at her hard. "Darcy, did they… I… I mean, I  _thought_ you were able to stop them from…" His whole face was stricken, worried.

"Oh, no, I  _did!_  But…" She gnawed at her lip. "Something  _else_. There was this… thing o-or person, and it just… I think it killed them." Her eyes were wide. "I think it killed them because they attacked me."

He stared at her, his brows hiked.

"And I know, it's crazy, I just…" She sighed. "I saw…  _something_. Or, I think I did. And…" She swallowed tightly. "And I know it's wrong or I should value human life and y'know, murder is murder, and I'm all 'don't wear fur, animals matter' so…" She rolled her eyes, "Conflict of interest or something, right? But…" She shrugged. "Those men, they…" Her chest tightened. "He had… There were all these hands and they just…" She squeezed her eyes shut and counted to ten in Bengali. "I-I…" She felt her mouth wobble.

His hand covered her arm, gently, carefully, trying not to startle her.

She opened her eyes, felt a film of tears on them, and stared down at his hand touching her. It was comforting. It wasn't like those hands that had pulled and grabbed and shoved at her. She could feel calluses on his fingers and his palm was rough, his skin warm. "I'm glad they're dead," she breathed. "I'm glad he killed them."

He squeezed her arm, whether it was to agree or to tell her he understood or just to comfort her since she knew her pain was sounding through her voice, she wasn't sure.

But she pushed off the wall and she hugged him all the same, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her body flat against his.

He was stiff and unmoving in her arms at first, like he didn't know what to do or he'd never been hugged or maybe he was just shocked that this woman, who hardly knew him, was throwing herself at him.

She sniffled against his shoulder. "You probably think I'm crazy…" She laughed, tears spilling down her cheeks. "And I don't know why, I just… I like you. You're a puzzle and you're funny and handsome and I see you watching me sometimes and you save people and you saved me and I just…" She shook her head. "I think you're a good person, no matter what you did or why you're on the run, I think you're good, on the inside, and it matters… To me, it matters."

His arms wrapped around her slowly, squeezing gently. "It's probably just a hero-worship complex… You think I saved your life, so you're latching onto me."

"I liked you before that…" She shook her head. "After you helped Sunny and even though you were kind of a dick 'cause you thought I was some, like, undercover person or whatever… And when we talked and you made me laugh and I saw you in the market and you  _waved_ …" She shrugged. "Look, I'm not expecting a life long friendship or for us to share secrets and braid each other's hair…" She reached up and ruffled his. "Even if yours is totally long enough for braiding…"

He snorted.

"I just… wanted you to know… Y'know, so if you think the whole world's against you or something… You got one person who kind of things you're radder than sliced cheese."

He rubbed her back and then said, "I thought it was bread. Better than sliced bread."

"Oh my God," she complained, "Does nobody else understand that cheese is like  _way_ better than bread?"

"Health wise, bread is probably worse than cheese… Although I can't say I've ever done a study on it personally."

"I thought you were a doctor!"

"I am. Well… Technically, I'm a scientist," he admitted. "My field of expertise was gamma-radiation…"

"So, not really an expert on bread and cheese, huh?"

He chuckled lowly. "I can't say I've spent much time debating merits or downsides, no."

"Well, I'll forgive you, I guess, since you were apparently doing some serious scienc-y stuff." She patted his shoulder. "And even managed to learn some medical stuff too, since you're out here playing physician to the underprivileged."

"I'll be able to sleep better at night knowing you approve," he mused.

She laughed. "You're welcome." Unwilling to let him go yet, Darcy knotted her fingers behind his neck and rested her cheek on her bicep, looking up from the corner of her eyes; the whiskers across his jaw made her want to rub her face against his. She shook off the thought and focused. "Can I ask you something?"

He hummed. "Sure."

"Do you believe in monsters?" she wondered. "And, related question, do you believe they can be good, even if on the outside, or even some of their actions, could be construed as bad?"

His hands stilled on her back. "I think there is good, bad, and evil, in different levels… I think there are monsters made of good men who make bad decisions. And bad men who are monsters and take no responsibility…" His jaw ticked, eyes falling. "And I think there are some of us who can't be saved; good, bad, evil, we just are who we are, and there's nothing and no one who can change that…"

Her eyes widened, brows hiked. "Wow, sounds like you gave that some serious thought, Doc."

His smile was more of a grimace. "I've had a lot of time on my hands to do some serious thinking…"

"Sure, but you've never given cheese and bread any of your attention…" She scoffed dramatically. "And you call yourself a doctor!"

He laughed under his breath. "I'll have to reassess my life, my choices, and get back to you. How does that sound?"

She finally leaned away from him and offered a grin. "It's a date." She winked at him, releasing her arms and letting them fall to her sides. "Just don't try to get frisky!" She pointed at him. "I'm getting myself a taser, so..."

He offered a sad smile. "How are you dealing with everything?" he wondered.

"I'm… coping." She shrugged. "I don't know…" She kicked the floor with her foot. "I'm going back to school tomorrow." She smiled softly. "It's gonna be good… I miss the kids."

"I'm sure the, what'd you call them? Monsters, brats,  _midgets_? They've missed you too," he said, lips twitching.

She rolled her eyes. "Of course they have. I'm awesomesauce. I should come with a warning, I'm so addictive!"

He ducked his head as he grinned.

She reached out and touched his chin, lifting his head. "You shouldn't do that… You've got a killer smile," she told him.

He stared at her, brows furrowed.

And then the door swung open.

"Hey, Darce, dinner's read…y." Susan looked between them and then winced guiltily. "Sorry. Um, carry on. Dinner can wait." She shut the door a little too hard. "Holy crap, Rani, you're going to be so excited! Guess whose favorite adopted volunteer is getting her flirt on with the handsome doctor you think is a heaven sent saint or whatever!"

"Heh… Thin walls…" Darcy muttered. "She's, uh… still kind of new." She pulled her hand back and dropped it to her hip. "So… Dinner…" She pointed at the door with her thumb. "Did you eat?" Her eyebrows hiked. "'Cause I bet Rani would be happy to feed you!"

"Oh, uh, no, that—that's fine… Thank you though…" He scratched behind his ear and cleared his throat.

"Okay, well…" She swung her hands and clapped them, raising them so she could point at him. "So, you go home and think about bread and cheese and when you figure it out, lemme know!" She side-stepped and reached for the door. "And thanks for coming by and checking on me and… stuff."

"You're welcome…" His mouth twitched. "For stuff."

She grinned. "Later, Doc."

He nodded, before turning on his heel to walk away.

Darcy watched him go before pushing the apartment door open, stepping inside, and closing it with her body leaned back against it. She sighed. What the hell even  _was_ that?"

"Well?" Rani asked, looking excited. "Should I measure you for wedding dress?" she teased.

She felt her whole face go red. "Hey!" She waved her hands. "Back it up, sister. It's not even  _like_ that…"

"Isn't it?" Basu said, looking amused, and smiling at her.

"You're supposed to be on my side," Darcy reminded him, pointing. "Don't encourage her!"

He chuckled before sitting back at the table. "He is a good man… I think you would be very lucky to find a good man for such a kind and lovely heart as you."

She blinked, her eyes burning, and crossed the room. Hugging her arms around Basu's neck, she kissed his cheek. "You're the only good man I want in my life, Bas… And sadly, Rani snatched you up before I could."

Despite his dark coloring, Basu blushed.

Rani laughed good-naturedly. "You need a young doctor more than an old accountant. This one is mine; you get your own!" She waved a rag at her and Darcy laughed, jumping out of its reach.

"Fine. I'll just dedicate my life to the teaching of children… No doctors or accountants needed, thank you very much!"

Rani waved a dismissive hand after her. "You will learn."

Snorting, Darcy left to wash her hands for dinner, but as she stood there, staring out the window to the city below, she thought to herself that maybe not a doctor or an accountant, but  _technically_ … Bruce was a  _scientist_ …

Eh, couldn't hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you worried, **no** I will not be killing off Darcy or Bruce in this story! lol
> 
> Jeez, you kill of a character a few times and nobody thinks you'll let them have a happy ever after! :P


	3. Chapter 3

**III.**

The return to work was exactly what Darcy thought she needed.

Actually getting there was a whole other ball game.

The problem with shutting herself up in the apartment was that the outside world seemed a lot scarier than maybe it actually was. Although, given her recent run-in with it, she had to say it was definitely rocking the scary scale pretty hard.

She made it to the stairs before she started panicking, and somehow the mustard yellow walls were not helping things.

"Puke. They look like puke. Are the walls puking right now?" she wondered hysterically.

Susan blinked at her. "No, they pretty much always look like that…"

"I can't breathe!" She waved her hands in her face. "Can you breathe?" She clawed at her throat. "Where is the air?"

"Okay… I'm not really good in these kinds of situations…" Susan started backing up, her eyes wide. "I'm just…" She pointed behind her. "I'm gonna go get Rani or something, okay?"

"What?  _No!_ You can't  _leave_ me! I'm  _suffocating!_ "

"Uh, since you're talking, I think your lungs are working just fine…" She waved her hands and backed up further. "Look, I'll get Rani and you just, I dunno, curl up into a little ball, okay? People do that, right?"

Darcy blinked at her. " _What?_ "

But Susan was gone, racing down the hallway toward the apartment.

Darcy struggled to figure out what to do. Her chest was still heaving, her stomach was twisted into knots, her palms were sweaty, and she felt like she might just add to the pukey walls with a little vomit of her own. But they seemed to be closing in on her, feeling like they were hugging against her body despite not actually moving at all.

Whether it was panic that did it or some reserve of strength she didn't even know she had, she ran down the stairs to the main floor and right out of the building, gulping in air. Tears stung her eyes and overflowed, dribbling down her cheeks. She whirled, her head moving to and fro, eyes searching. For what, she wasn't sure. Maybe the men she knew to be dead. Maybe another attacker to come at her. All she knew was she was outside and she had nothing, no barrier, between her and the rest of the world.

Her knees shook and she closed her eyes, counting, one to ten in Bengali. Over and over again. She just breathed, in and out through her nose, and counted.

When a hand touched her back, she cried out, swinging her arm back. But it was Rani and she managed to duck in time, as if she'd expected it. She gathered Darcy in close and stroked her hair. "Shh, shh, I have you. The Rani has got you."

"I c-couldn't br-breathe…" she cried, clutching at her. "W-Walls were puki-i-ing…" She sniffled, burying her face at Rani's shoulder and just breathing, focusing on the spicy smell she associated with her.

It was a few minutes, when her crying had subsided, that Rani asked her, "Do you want to come inside?"

Darcy didn't move, didn't answer. She thought about the kids and she thought about what had happened. She thought about Rani's story, that her father had told her hiding would let the world become ugly. But the stress, the anxiety that was still inside her, begged for her to run away, bury her head in her pillow, find safety in the apartment.

"Hey, I know I'm not the best at talking it out, but… I'll be with you," Susan reminded. "I won't leave your side again, I promise. I'll even hold your hand, if you want!" She shrugged. "You were like, one more snarky joke away from being my latest lady crush anyway."

Despite what had happened, Darcy rolled her eyes. She gathered herself and stood up, rubbing at her face. "I can do this…" She took in a deep breath and closed her eyes. "I  _have_ to do this."

Rani rubbed her hands up and down Darcy's arms and then gave her a proud nod. She pressed a hand to Darcy's heart meaningfully. "Be beautiful, sweet girl."

Darcy gave her a watery smile and then held a hand out to Susan. "C'mon you, I'm not letting you get away this time."

Their fingers knotted together and Darcy squeezed, letting some of her panic show.

Rani waved at them as she moved back toward the building. "You will be okay," she assured. She banged her fist against her chest and reminded her, "You are  _strong_."

Darcy nodded back at her, trying to take her word for truth and make her own brain accept it as such.

The walk to the school was filled with her looking over her shoulder, searching, suspicious of every person that walked by, that looked at her.

She wanted to be more okay with it. She wanted to be  _over_ it. She wanted it to just be some  _thing_ that happened in the past that she never had to bring up, but it felt like it was trying to consume her. Making its way into things that she didn't want it to touch.

When the school was in sight, her heart flipped. She sped up her footsteps, eager to get inside, recognizing safety in it like a giant, blinking arrow was pointing down from above it to guide her. Her heart was banging against her chest and she felt flushed and light-headed until she was finally inside, under the cover of the roof, surrounded by the same four cement walls that had been her haven; that had provided her with the comfort of knowing who she was and what she was meant to do.

"Miss Darcy!" the cry rang up as the kids noticed her and it wasn't long before they were collected around her feet, eager and hopeful.

A hand found hers and squeezed tightly.

Darcy found Anala staring up at her with wide eyes. "I thought you went home," she said sadly.

She paused, staring down at the little girl. At the reason she was out late, who she abandoned common sense in favor of. And she didn't feel anger; she didn't feel anything but relief at seeing someone who she loved as dearly as she did Anala. She squeezed her fingers and smiled at her, letting her eyes wander the school. "I  _am_  home," she told her simply.

Anala grinned up at her, relieved.

Darcy gave an  _oof!_  as suddenly Bimal knocked into her, wrapping his arms around her leg.

Leela, pushing past her brother, waved a hand, and told her, "I have so many stories to tell you, Miss. Can I, please?"

She laughed. "Two, Leela," she said. "Choose wisely!"

Leela eagerly spun her tales, with Upa adding a much tamer and more realistic version for each of what had happened while Darcy had been away. Which she was glad for, because Darcy thought it probably would've sucked if the moon really had fallen from the sky and crushed the school, especially since in Leela's version, Upa was the only one inside. Seriously, she wondered what Leela's deal was that she had so many stories in which Upa was the victim. Her brother took it in stride though, oddly enough. Having no siblings of her own, Darcy couldn't say if it was normal behavior or not.

There was something healing about having all her kids around her. Something that reminded her of all the good in the world and how it overshadowed the bad. She wasn't fixed, and even just looking outside made her skin crawl, but she thought the steps she'd taken, leaving the apartment and getting to the school despite how terrified she'd been, it was a good start.

She spent the rest of the day focusing solely on the bright faces of the children and listening to them tell her about how they missed her, what they did while she was away, and she was, of course, never allowed to leave. Darcy bit back the tears that stung her eyes and promised that she would stay with them as long as she could.

But for the first time since she arrived in Calcutta, the idea of leaving didn't make her stomach knot. Instead, the idea of staying was what made her feel sick to her stomach.

And she  _hated_ that she felt that way.

…

The closer the school day came to ending, the more Darcy could feel the itch of panic beneath her skin.

While Susan had promised to stay close, one of the volunteer coordinators asked for her help at another school and Darcy had obligingly told her to go. That had been earlier in the morning though, while she still had hours before she had to worry about getting home. Susan had promised she would do everything she could to get back in time to walk back to the apartment with her, but Darcy couldn't help but feel like she was being more trouble than needed.

When the kids started breaking up to go home, she bit her tongue to keep from asking them to stay awhile longer with her. Eventually, the school emptied out, some of them going home, others following volunteer personnel to the small housing unit set up for many, if they wanted, to sleep in, making sure they were safe and warm. Some of the kids didn't take them up on it though, choosing instead to find their own way. It was that which made Darcy feel even more like she was being a baby. These were little kids and they lived their lives constantly aware of their surroundings, unsure if they'd go hungry or even live through the night, and she couldn't walk home to her nice, safe, warm apartment where she had a full meal waiting for her.

But each time she walked to the door and peered outside, it seemed like the world stretched too far, making the trek back to Rani and Basu's look like a journey she wasn't sure she'd survive. She started hyperventilating and eventually dropped down to sit against a wall, burying her face in her knees, her arms hugged around them.

She tried counting again.

 _Ek, dui, tin, char, pach, choi, shat, aat, noi, dosh_.

She tried focusing on her breathing, but it seemed like nothing was quite working.

She knew she had to get up.

She knew she had to get home.

And worse, she knew that if she didn't do it soon, eventually the sun would go down and then the chances of her leaving…

She squeezed her arms around her legs even tighter.

"Darcy?"

It was not Susan, but she lifted her head, her brow furrowed. "Bruce?"

He was staring down at her, and she realized with a sniffle that at some point she'd started crying again.

He stepped further into the school, letting the door close behind him, and watched her searchingly, as if picking up cues from her body language about what he could and couldn't do. Very slowly, he knelt down so they were at eye-level. "Hey," he murmured before, and she would never forget it for the rest of her life, doing that awful, ridiculous wave she'd taught him.

It produced the startled laugh out of her that she was pretty sure he was going for.

He ducked his head as he smiled and stared up at her from the top of his eyes. "How was school?" he asked, before taking a seat, bending his legs and resting his elbows on his knees.

Darcy stared at him, silently appreciating that he wasn't making a huge deal out of finding her crying on the floor of her school. She rubbed at her nose with the back of her hand. "Good…" She smiled slowly. "They're all so smart… They learn so fast and they're such cool little people, y'know?" She bit her lip. "Like Bimal?" She shook her head. "He's so quiet that I never really think he gets it, but when he talks… Man, it's like he— He just  _absorbs_ all of it and he picks it up like—" She snapped her fingers. "And Leela?" She laughed. "She might have some issues with her little brother and she might possibly be a pathological liar in the making, but she is so clever and she tells the funniest stories… At least, the ones where her brother actually lives are funny." She rolled her eyes. "And then there's Samaresh, who is always  _so_ proud and so eager to help everyone else. And Anala and Sunil and Upa, they're all so smart and funny and they do these amazing things every day…"

"You really love them," he said gently, watching her face.

"Seriously, what's not to love?" She shook her head, scrubbing at her face. "You remember when I told you that the reason I quit my degree in education was because of some kid checking out my rack?"

He nodded.

"It's a world apart… The kids that I met here, the kids that show up every day, I look at them and I  _know_ that they want to learn. And I'm just… I'm Miss Darcy to them. It's like… There's respect and love and admiration, but it's friendly and warm and I don't… I feel like when I'm here, I'm making a difference. And back in the States, I just felt… Lost and alone and like it didn't matter what I did, I'd never be enough."

"For who?"

Her throat tightened. "My  _mom_ …" her voice went out on a crack. "Myself."

He nodded slowly and picked at a thread on his khaki pants. "But you feel more secure here?"

She smiled sadly. "I  _found_ myself. I found that person that was just, hiding out in me, y'know? Like all that time, I  _was_ this person, I just didn't know how to  _access_ her and… And then it all went sideways and I don't…" She closed her eyes as they burned. "I keep thinking they're around the corner and they're going to grab me and I c-can't…  _breathe_ …" She licked her lips as a few tears dribbled down and caught on them. "And I  _know_ they're dead. I know they won't— they  _can't_ come after me. But I just… I feel like they took something from me and I don't know how to get it back."

She could hear as he shuffled closer, clothes dragging and rustling before his crossed legs were at the edge of her toes. He covered her forearms with his hands, loosely, his thumbs stroked slowly. "So let's say you could… Maybe if you knew self defense…"

She laughed cynically. "Where am I going to learn that? Do they even have that here?"

He was quiet for a moment before finally telling her, "I've studied a number of different forms of martial arts… Mostly to relieve stress, but there are a number of benefits; physically, emotionally, mentally, that kind of thing."

"Plus, in your case, it probably helps you get away if somebody figures out who you are and tries to bring you in," she mentioned, raising her head to look at him.

Bruce's eyes turned off and he gave a derisive laugh under his breath. "Let's just say those who've tried have had negative results."

"So you'd teach me how to kick ass…?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

He sighed. "It's not just about teaching you how to hurt someone if they want to hurt you…" He shook his head. "You're anxious, right? Scared to leave the house or…" He looked around. "The school?"

She nodded, and then rolled her eyes at herself, feeling embarrassed.

"Hey, what happened to you…? Darcy…" He squeezed her arm. "That was scary and awful and you have every right to be freaked out."

She could feel her eyes brimming again.

"You just want control back and I want to help you get it."

She smiled softly then. "You just can't quit helping people, can you?" She wiped at her face with the back of her arm, dabbing at her eyes with her sleeve. "Who's helping you out, Doc?"

His eyes dropped. "Relationships are difficult to manage when you're in a situation like mine."

Darcy turned her legs down to mimic the crossed position of his and then stretched her arms, grabbing up his hands and squeezing them. "Well, since you're offering to be my Mr. Miyagi, I think we can safely say we've crossed over into friendship by now."

He looked up at her, his eyebrows arched slightly. "I don't think I've had a friend in a long time…" he admitted, before his face flushed as if he couldn't believe he admitted that and felt foolish for it.

She grinned. "Awesome, then you probably don't have anything to compare me to." She winked. "Just go with the flow and I guarantee I'll be the best friend ever."

He chuckled, but then paused, eyes falling, brow furrowed. Sighing, he shook his head. "Darcy, listen, there are probably things you need to know about me if you're going to let me help you…"

Darcy squeezed his hands a little tighter. "Hey, I already told you, whatever you did or didn't do or whatever reason the US government has for chasing you down… Not my business."

"That was different," he argued. "We hardly knew each other. If you're going to be spending more time with me—"

"If you're teaching me self-defense, I plan on spending every second I'm not sleeping, eating, or teaching with you," she interrupted.

He stared at her a long second. "I'm not always a good person."

"I can think of three times you were an awesome person and those are just the times I witnessed… I've got countless others of people all over Calcutta talking about how you helped them or their kids…" She stared searchingly at him. "Just, answer me one thing, okay?"

He nodded, giving her his full, unwavering attention.

She met it with her own. "Do you really wanna scare me off?"

He stared at her a long moment, took a deep breath, and then, very honestly, he shook his head.

She half-smiled. "So don't." With a shrug, she squeezed his fingers. "Now, you wanna walk me home?"

"It'd be my pleasure." He stood from the floor and pulled her up with him.

She released his hands so she could hook her arm with one of his, resting in the crook of his elbow, before leaning into his side.

He paused at the physical contact and looked down at uncertainly. He seemed hesitant but he didn't let it stop him and he didn't let her go.

As they left the building, she looked up at him, "So how badass am I going to be after you teach me all this?"

He chuckled under his breath. "I'm not promising Lara Croft, if that's what you're suggesting."

"Oh, buddy…" She rubbed his bicep. "We need to update your pop culture references…"

At his frown, she bit her lip to hide her smile.

"Hey, don't worry about it. You teach me how to ninja and I'll update you on what's cool… Or at least what was cool when  _I_ left the States, so…" She patted his chest, admittedly taking a moment to enjoy how solid it was under her hand. "You'll still be six months behind, but hey, progress right?"

He smiled at her, eyebrows hiked with amusement. "Deal."

The walk back to the apartment was nice. Darcy couldn't say she didn't still look over her shoulder or flinch at every noise, but there was something calming about having Bruce there. "I'm not really this skittish," she told him.

"I know."

"I just… I don't want you to think I'm some like, wilting flower or something." She snorted. "Trust me, before this, reckless was my middle name… I mean, I got a little better at not going out at night, at least not here, 'cause Rani and Basu both told me I should be careful. Foreign country, right? I don't know what's out there. And hey, American news doesn't exactly shine a flattering light on foreign countries. Half the time, people are getting kidnapped. They don't exactly cover that awesome vacation experience you had where nothing went wrong and you just met a lot of really awesome people and had a great time…"

"Do you always ramble?" he wondered.

She paused, turning to look at him. "It's pretty common," she admitted with a shrug.

"The silent breathing exercises we're gonna do are not going to be your favorite," he mused.

Her head fell back as she laughed. She squeezed his arm. "Well I'll try not to break your calm, Doc, but no promises."

He watched her from the corner of his eyes. "Maybe having someone around to test my limits won't be the worst thing."

She stared back at him. "Services offered."

His lips twitched and he looked away.

The sun was setting when they reached her building.

"Do you want me to walk you up?" he wondered.

Darcy kicked the dirt and thought of the pukey walls of the stairwell. "I should probably get used to doing it on my own, right?" She shrugged. "You're not always going to be here to talk me out of my hysterical breakdowns…"

"No… But I'm here now." He tucked his hands in the pockets of his pants. "I offered to help, Darcy."

"And you are." She reached over and socked him in the shoulder. "Look, me and you, we'll start that deep-breathing, ultra-calm stuff tomorrow… Or bounce right into the ass-kicking stuff, I'm not partial." She shrugged. "But I've still gotta take a few steps without anybody around to keep me from nose-diving, right?" She raised an eyebrow. "I'm not saying it's my best idea, there's a good chance Rani will find me crying on the stairs about pukey-walls again, but… I have to try."

He nodded slowly. "You're stronger than you think you are…"

"Maybe." She pivoted on her foot to face her building. "Or crazy… Eh, probably crazier."

He chuckled to himself. "Could be both."

She winked at him over her shoulder.

"Tomorrow," he said. "I'll meet you outside the school."

"Okay." She started toward the building, but paused, turned back to see he was still waiting, watching, making sure she got inside despite there only being twenty feet between her and the building door. "Hey Bruce…?"

"Yeah?"

She swallowed tightly. "Thank you," she said sincerely. "I know you probably weren't expecting all this…" She snorted. "Neither was I, but…" She ducked her eyes. "It means a lot, that you're doing this."

He shuffled his feet, not sure what to say, before finally murmuring, "You're welcome… I guess."

She smiled, letting her gaze meet his. "One of these days I'm not going to make you so nervous."

He said, very confidently, "I highly doubt that."

Darcy felt her heart jump in her chest and bit her lip. "See ya tomorrow, Doc!" She waved at him before turning and walking into her building.

She felt a little floaty as she walked inside, even if some part of her brain questioned whether she might be reading into it too much. She raced up the stairs, partly so she wouldn't pay too much attention to the color of the walls or that suffocating feeling, partly just because she wanted to be safe inside her apartment, and partly too because she was feeling giddy and excited and the promise that there would be some relief, that she might be able to find her strength again in the self-defense that he'd be teaching her, made her want to share it with Basu and Rani.

When she walked into the apartment, Rani gave a long sigh of relief. "You are home," she said, wringing her hands. "It was getting dark."

Darcy closed the door behind her before crossing the room and hugging Rani tight. "I'm going to be stronger," she promised. "The  _strongest!_ "

Rani cradled her, rubbing her back. "You already are," she murmured soothingly.

Darcy wasn't so sure, but she vowed to herself that she would be.

She would find her safety again and she wouldn't ever let anyone take it from her.

…

Susan apologized no less than six times from when she got home later that night until the next morning on the walk to the school.

It was a little harder to speak freely about what happened and what the problem was with the kids, who now knew she was back to work and so collected outside the building to walk with her, listening to everything they said.

"Seriously, it's okay…" she told a still super apologetic and awkwardly fidgeting Susan. "It was probably better anyway."

Susan frowned. "Rani said you didn't get back until almost dark and you were all flushed. She said you  _ran_  into the apartment!"

"Okay, well, that was kind of less freaked out and more…  _excited_ …" she admitted, chewing her lip.

"Excited?" She shook her head slowly. "I don't get it. Yesterday morning you were having a meltdown and talking about vomity walls like you were tripping out or something, so what exactly happened between then and getting home?"

Darcy looked down at Bimal, wrapped around her leg, and ruffled his hair for something to pay attention to. "Well, I was hanging out at the school after everyone left, because… of reasons."

Susan winced.

"And a familiar, fluffy face showed up, so…" She shrugged.

Slowly, Susan turned to look at her, eyes wide and mouth ajar. "Your doctor came to see you? Oh my god!" she exclaimed. "Why didn't you  _tell_ me?"

"Uh, 'cause you wouldn't stop apologizing long enough to get a word in edgewise?" She shrugged. "Anyway, I was excited 'cause Bruce said he could teach me some self-defense so, y'know, maybe I wouldn't be so anxious and stuff… He said there's these breathing techniques I can do too, that'll stop me from panicking so much and that if I know how to kick butt maybe I won't be so jumpy."

"So it's just gonna be you and Doctor Fluffy, hanging out in close quarters, doing deep-breathing while he guides you into fight positions…" She smirked. "Interesting."

Darcy rolled her eyes, but she could feel her skin flush, and not just from the regular too-hot heat that blanketed them. "He's helping me. Try not to turn this into some weird fanfiction piece in your head."

Susan stuck her tongue out at her. "Whatever, you know I can't write."

She snorted. "Doesn't stop you."

"If there weren't children around, I'd have something a lot ruder to say to that…" She lifted her nose up into the air, "But there is so I'm just going to tell you that you suck and I hate you."

"Miss Susan!" various kids cried out, looking at her with wide eyes.

"Hate is a bad word," Bimal told her solemnly.

"Yeah Sue, really," Darcy told her.

"Uh…" She looked around at all the kids and shrugged. "You're right guys, sorry. I was just… I shouldn't have said that. My apologies."

"Tell Miss Darcy you do not hate her. You must love, not hate," one of the older girls, nearly eleven, Baharati, told her.

"I don't hate you, Darce, I love you," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Apology accepted," she said teasingly, smile spreading her lips. "All right, guys, let's work on our numbers. Where were we when I left last week?"

"Eighty-three, Miss," Syed told her.

"Thank you. Syed, my handsome dude, you can start us from there, okay?"

He nodded. "Eighty-four."

"Eighty-five!" Anala exclaimed cheerfully.

"Eighty-six," Moti piped up from behind her.

"Eighty-seven," said his brother, Shishir.

And so it went until they reached the school and they all filed inside.

Darcy spotted Leela with a smile and braced herself for another story. A knowing and resigned Upa followed her. She tried not to be amused, but it was a fruitless effort.

Especially when poor, defenseless Upa was sadly killed by a stray star that was lonely in the sky and so fell to the earth to join the children in their games.

…

As the school emptied out once more, Darcy found herself pacing, eagerly checking the time and the doorway, waiting on the handsome face of her favorite doctor.

She was starting to wonder if he wasn't coming when nearly an hour later she was still left standing in the same school, completely alone. Panic made her heart race as she thought about walking home, alone.

But then, out of breath and sweating slightly, Bruce came through the door, waving a hand and pausing to catch his breath, leaning against a wall.

"Sorry… Patient… Tried to… hurry…"

"It's cool." She smiled. "Just glad I didn't get stood up."

His eyebrows hiked. "No!" He waved his hands and stood upright. "I'd never… I mean I wouldn't…" His feet shuffled and he licked his lips. "I had a patient that I needed to see, I didn't know that it was take this long, I… I planned to be here earlier so you we could go right after, but—"

"Bruce, you don't need to explain," she assured. "You're here, your patient is okay, at least I  _hope_ …"

He nodded quickly.

"Great. Then… We can go?"

"Uh yeah, sure, just…" He fiddled with his hands. "The place that I'm staying, it isn't… It's not really like Basu and Rani's…"

"It's got four walls and a roof?"

He nodded.

"Then I'm good." She walked toward him. "We just need a place to practice, right? It's not like I'm moving in." She winked at him.

He stared at her, eyes a little wide. "I just… I don't get company very often…" His eyes darted away as he admitted, "I cleaned up, but… There's only so much I could do…"

Darcy reached for him, hooking their arms like she did before. She wasn't sure why, she thought after what happened that it should probably be the other way around, but she liked having physical contact with certain people, it grounded her. And somehow, this fluffy, adorable scientist had made it onto her shortlist. "C'mon, why don't you show me before assuming I won't like it?"

He looked at her dubiously. "I just want you to be prepared."

"Not expecting the lap of luxury here…"

He sighed, but finally, resignedly, started for the door. He held it open for her to walk through and waited as she locked up.

She'd already warned Rani and Basu that she would be home late, assuring them that she would be okay and not to worry. Basu hadn't been so sure, but Rani, understanding her need for independence after what happened, gave her a quick nod and wished her well.

The walk to Bruce's house took a different direction than that to hers.

He lived on the outskirts, set apart from the busy and crowded streets of Calcutta. It wasn't quite the slums, where garbage and refuge had collected, surrounding the tightly stuck together huts. Instead, it was a shack of a house, leaning precariously to one side, made of boards and pipes, tied together with rope and draped in old, but thick, strong fabric. When she got inside, the door squealed and snapped as it closed behind her; she noticed there were a number of locks on the door, despite the fact that she thought a good stiff wind would probably take it off.

The floors were made of old, worn wood boards but dirt had collected about an inch thick.

"I, uh, didn't have time to sweep…" he admitted, rubbing at the back of his neck, seeing where she was looking.

A few of the windows were open, but he crossed to pull the fabric off the rest of them to let in more natural light.

"I get the feeling you like it dark, Doc."

He stilled, glancing back at her. "Default setting, I guess."

There was an old, sturdy table set up by his kitchen, of which an old stove, a small fridge, and a grimy sink sat.

His table only had one chair, she noticed.

For that matter, he had a stack of books next to his one, worn armchair. And a single cot with threadbare blankets tossed over it.

"How long have you been here?" she wondered, feeling lonely just looking at it.

He tied off the last of the three windows he opened and rubbed his hands on his pants. "Uh, a few months, I guess."

"And this is all your stuff…?" She looked around her. His books were well loved; the edges frayed, the bindings cracked, but she wondered if it was from him using them or it was just the condition he got them in. There was a piece of paper with a child's drawing on it that he kept on his fridge with a magnet. She imagined it was of the 'thanks for saving my life, shadow creature' variety.

He fidgeted. "I don't take much with me when I move," he admitted, before moving around, fussing over things. Making his bed, putting the chair under the table, readjusting the candles he had set up for when it got dark.

"No electricity?"

"I don't really… own this place…" he admitted. "One of the families I helped out, they said it was abandoned, but the water still works and the roof has kept up…"

Darcy stared pointedly at the two rusted pots he had on the floor. "Just how well is that roof keeping up?"

"Well, it rains sometimes…" he muttered sheepishly.

She raised her head to look at him, looking so awkward, pulling at the cuffs of his… Was he wearing a suit? Since she'd met him he'd been wearing loose t-shirts and khaki pants, the usual fair, but now he was wearing a pale purple, button-up, dress shirt and a suit jacket that looked almost green, clashing terribly, she thought, with his brown slacks. She hadn't noticed it before, maybe too focused on how late he was and how nervous he'd been to show her his house.

"You look snazzy, Doc," she told him, smiling.

He looked down at himself and cleared his throat. "Oh, uh…" He smoothed out the side of his jacket. "This old thing?" he joked.

She laughed sincerely and walked toward him.

He stumbled back two steps and she raised an eyebrow.

"Breathing techniques?" she asked.

"Right. Right…" He nodded, looked around, and then promptly moved to the center of the room. He shrugged his jacket off and laid it over his armchair before rolling the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows. She watched his hands as they moved; like the rest of him, they were tanned, with long fingers and wide, callused palms.

He waved at her to join him before he took a seat, crossing his legs like he did before. "We're just going to focus on breathing today, okay?" He eyed her, looking almost wary.

Darcy followed him, eyeing the dirty floor briefly before shrugging and taking a seat across from him. She wrapped a hand around her ankle as she tucked it under her knee. "You say so, sensei."

His mouth curled in a faint smile that he quickly stifled. "I was thinking, if you were interested, when you get used to the breathing, we could try yoga," he told her. "It's good for reflexes, flexibility, and it reduces stress."

"Not to mention, were in India, where it originated, right?"

He grinned, nodding. "That too."

"Okay, so, deep-breathing, yoga, and self-defense." She wiggled her eyebrows at him. "Sounds like me and you are going to be spending a lot of time together…."

He stared back at her a long second before clearing his throat. "All right, so, close your eyes… Do you know what a body scan is?"

She wiggled around to get comfortable, closed her eyes, and answered, "Start from my toes and make my way up, check out how each and every inch of me is feeling, block out noise, focus on my breathing, right?"

"Yes."

"Awesome… We tried this once before my philosophy class, but then Kenny Andrews started talking about what silence  _meant_ and, well, trust me, it wasn't silent…"

He hummed.

Darcy took the cue for what it was and shut up. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath before starting at her toes, focusing all of her mental focus on them. They tingled, she noticed. She didn't know why and she briefly wondered if she was cutting off her blood supply, sitting the way she was, but then tried to get back on track.

She moved up to the arch of her foot and then the heel, and up, up, she went, examining each part of her body for feeling. Her knees ached a little bit and her butt wasn't appreciating the hard floor. The small of her back gave a twinge, unhappy with the way she was sitting, but she'd always had crap posture so she wasn't surprised.

Her stomach felt a little empty and she briefly wondered what Rani was making for dinner and if she'd put some away for Darcy to have later. She shook her head, telling herself to  _focus!_

She was seeing how her shoulders and neck felt when a cool breeze came in through the windows and made her shiver. She felt her skin break out in goosebumps and clenched her hands in reply. It ruffled her hair and for a moment that was all she could focus on; the air sifting through every individual strand of her hair. It made her think of him and his dark, curly hair, with the grey edging in at his temples. Her lips curved in a smile.

She tried to focus again but all she could think about was running her fingers through his hair and how he was just a few feet away and she wondered if the breeze was tickling the back of his neck, or maybe the hair on his arms.

She cracked an eye open because she was helpless to it, but she was surprised to find he was already staring at her, his eyes round, eyebrows hiked. She opened her other eye and she just blinked at him.

"What?" she said, looking down at herself. "Am I doing it wrong?"

She could feel strands of her hair gently brushing the side of her face and sliding over her neck.

"No." He swallowed tightly, his eyes moving from her neck to her cheek and then searching her eyes.

"You all right?" She reached over and touched his hand which was gripping his knee tight. "You look a little tense, Doc, I thought this was supposed to relieve stress…?" she joked.

"I don't usually do it with beautiful women." He paused. "That… came out wrong."

She frowned. "The beautiful woman part or the doing it part…?"

He cleared his throat. "Uh, the second part."

Her lips tipped wryly. "No wonder you're tense."

His mouth twitched.

"So who's up for some downward dog?" she suggested grinning.

He let out a choked noise.

"No? Too soon?" She winked. "Too forward?"

He raised an eyebrow, letting his smile work its way forward. "Not if you were planning on following through."

Darcy felt a warm thrum run through her. "Innuendo knows no rules!"

He chuckled lowly. "Well, for the time-being, I think downward dog will have to stay off the menu."

"So there's a possibility of it in the future…?" Her eyes narrowed at him, lips curved in a smirk.

He dropped his eyes and cleared his throat. "Darcy…"

She rolled her eyes, knowing that tone of voice all too well. "Please don't give me a speech or lecture or a mixture of the two…"

He stared at her gently. "I'm not the kind of person you want to tie yourself to…"

"Well, you're not proving it very well." She sat forward, propping her chin in her hand. "Look, I offered friendship and you took it." She pointed at him. "No take-backs!" She shrugged. "So we'll wade through the friendly part for awhile, with me growing more and more likeable by the day, before I eventually convince you that dating me wouldn't be the worst mistake of your life."

He bit his lip. "It's not that you would be a mistake… It's that  _I_ would." He raised his eyes to stare at her, something dark and tortured there. "When I said I wasn't a good person, I meant it."

"You said you  _sometimes_ weren't… Which, y'know, might've been a slip, but I get the feeling that there's something else there. And anyway, like I told  _you_ , somebody who helps people like you do, or who warns people off so you don't hurt them with all your on-the-run angst, I don't know, it doesn't really jive with the bad person thing you're trying to sell!"

"It's hard to explain," he said, scrubbing a hand down his face in frustration. "And you didn't want me to, if I remember correctly."

"I think  _you_  think telling me means I'll turn tail and run, so I'm just avoiding it entirely and enjoying what we've got going now," she admitted with a shrug.

"Darcy, I'm wanted by the American government," he reminded, his voice raising. "This isn't something small; it won't go away because you have a crush on me!"

She glared. "Don't label my feelings, all right? Last I checked, you were a scientist, not a psychologist, even if you are changing capes wherever you like, playing doctor to make up for whatever you did."

He ground his teeth, turning his eyes to the side. "This was a mistake," he muttered. "This situation is volatile."

"Why?" She shook her head. "Arguing happens, even between friends. It's natural."

"And some people don't handle conflict well…" He laughed under his breath, cynical. "I'm one of those people."

She stared at him. "Bruce, how do you feel when you're with me?"

He paused, turning his eyes to stare at her from the corner.

"When I first saw you, after you saved Sunil…" She shook her head. "Something changed. Something, I dunno, in the air or—or in  _me_ , but something changed. I don't…" She snorted. "I'm reckless, but I don't usually chase strange doctors through the slums of Calcutta."

"He was your student, you were worried about him," he tried to dismiss. "From where you were standing, it probably seemed like I was doing something selfless…"

"Weren't you?" She raised an eyebrow. "I get that you're on the run and I called it when I said you were doing this to make up for something you did, but… Just, for a second, erase all of it… Rewind it, go back to the start, to before whatever you did even happened…" She paused, as if letting him do that. "If you knew Sunil was sick, would you help him?"

"I wouldn't have been in Calcutta if I hadn't—"

"Don't play the semantics game with me, Doc," she interrupted, rolling her eyes. "Just answer the question… You hear about Sunil, you know he's sick, you can help, what do you do?"

His brow furrowed as he stared at the ground. "I was a workaholic; you couldn't get me to pull my attention away from what I was doing… I… Maybe I would've sent someone else in, I don't know…"

"You're the only person. Nobody else. You have the resources. What. Do. You.  _Do?_ "

He looked up at her. "I save him."

"Right." She nodded. "Look, I'm not saying whatever you did wasn't wrong… It had to be wrong or you wouldn't be beating yourself up over it… But that doesn't mean you're a bad person. It means you made some mistakes and something inside you wants to fix those mistakes… So you help people and hide out in this tiny little shack and you tell yourself that you deserve it…" She shrugged. "And then somebody offers friendship and yeah, maybe something more, eventually… But you're still knee deep in regret and the past that you're pushing away something that could be really awesome." She stared searchingly at him. "I can't  _fix_ you. I know that!" She shook her head. "But I'm a little broken too and I like how I feel when I'm around you and I just…" She threw a hand up. "I want to enjoy that. I want to  _have_ that."

He swallowed tightly. "The big picture is so much more complicated than that and I have to think about it…" He shook his head slowly. "Every day, I have to be prepared for that and if I bring you in…"

She half-smiled. "Friendship, Bruce… Downward dog is off the table for now, okay? So it's just you and me and a little shack that may or may not survive the night…"

He cracked a smile. "It's sturdier than it looks."

She snorted. "It'd have to be."

He sighed. "I really like you Darcy."

She shrugged, offering a somewhat sad smile "What's not to like?"

He just stared at her, looking like something he wanted had been taken away before he'd ever had it. She knew that feeling.

"So? Breathing, right?" She plopped back, bringing her hand in and turning them over, pressing her forefinger and thumb together. "Can I hum…?" Not bothering to wait for a reply, she did it anyway. " _Ommm…_ "

He snickered.

Feelings put aside, they focused on breathing techniques, with him teaching her a few that would help with panic attacks.

It was an hour later, the sun set, that he walked her back to her apartment.

She didn't bother asking or even thinking about it much, she just reached over and took his hand as they passed the school, swinging it between them. "Same time tomorrow?" She bumped his shoulder with hers. "Or, y'know, maybe earlier since you were an hour late?"

He nodded. "I'll try my best to be on time."

"Cool."

They walked in silence for a few minutes and she wondered if he knew he was tracing one of her fingers with his thumb, circling the knuckle.

She turned to look at him before blurting, "When I was fifteen, I had a crush on my biology teacher."

He raised an eyebrow over at her, slightly surprise, either by the sudden conversation or the subject, she wasn't sure.

"He was kind of young, super new, really handsome, wore a pocket protector and the same tie every day…" She shrugged. "And every day I'd go to Biology, excited for him to look at me… I'd get butterflies and sweaty palms and I'd fail tests just so I could ask him for help…" She rolled her eyes. "Total lame stuff." She sighed. "Like writing our names together in my binder and telling myself it'd be like Never Been Kissed, only I wasn't really an adult or undercover and I hid my dorky side way better…"

"What happened?"

"I was a teenager, I moved on. Found somebody else to crush on." She shrugged. "And he was just another name that went on my happy week-long marriage list of boys I liked and then didn't."

"Week-long marriage," he repeated.

"Yeah, you ever like someone so much, like it's so intense, that you just kind of get lost in this weird fantasy world in your head and you guys are married and grow old together and everything's just roses and rainbows?"

He nodded slowly. "Sure."

"Lasts about a week and then you realize it's built on a fantasy." She shrugged. "There's the butterfly foundation, all superficial stuff; he's pretty, you're a bag of hormones. Then there's the do-anything-to-get-his-attention phase. You spend it doing lame stuff like dropping things or hinting or wearing those clothes that are gonna get  _anybody's_ attention, not always the good kind either. And then there's a week where you're totally convinced that you're soul mates. But later, when you look back, and totally cringe at how lame you were, you kind of pick it apart and go, 'Wow, only ever talked to him about biology… or gave him that piece of gum or bonded over how homework sucks.' It's not  _deep_ , is what I'm saying." She rolled her eyes. "It's surface stuff. Hormonal. Call it pheromones or being horny or whatever, but… Those things, those feelings, they're gone in a flash and somebody else just moves in and takes up residence as your current crush for a little while, repetitive cycle style."

He hummed, watching her.

"My last crush was on the sixty year old dude who traveled world-wide volunteering…" She see-sawed her hand back and forth. "Not so much physical as just kind of 'want to be you' feelings… Like this dude knew what he wanted to do and he just  _did_ it… He traveled the world and he saved people and he didn't care what he got in return. And here I am, just this college drop-out that couldn't find herself, so I got sucked in by a volunteer troupe and took off across the world. Now, did it work out?  _Totally!"_ Her eyes widened for emphasis. "But I'm hiding out here and I know it… Eventually, I gotta go back to the States…"

"When's eventually?" he wondered.

She shrugged. "I dunno, like, a month and a half from now."

She felt the subtle change in his grip, his hand faintly squeezing around hers.

"That's four weeks longer than the marriage period for a crush," he murmured.

She looked up at him, grinning. "That stage totally passed with you already…"

He tipped his head.

"You were the handsome, mysterious, life-saving stranger…" she said dramatically, fluttering a hand to her chest.

He smiled, letting out a light-hearted laugh. His eyebrow quirked. "And now?"

"Now you're Bruce…" She stared up at him. "A fluffy scientist with the weight of the world on his shoulders and an unhealthy fear of beautiful women."

He cracked a smile.

She came to a stop, her building behind her, and she turned to face him, gripping the sides of his dark green coat in her hands. "Every time I got scared, when I was at school and I didn't know what I wanted out of life, I just ran… I ran from education to philosophy to poli sci and then I ran here… But when I got here, I was happy!" She smiled brightly. "I finally found my place…" Her face fell. "Then those guys, they came out of nowhere and they screwed it up, and my first instinct was to run away, to go home… First to Rani and Basu's and then later, I just wanted to hop a plane and go back to the States…"

"But you didn't…"

"Maybe I'm growing up… Or maybe my fear wasn't as strong as how much I love it here, love who I  _am_ when I'm here…" She shook her head. "But running's off the plate…" She shook her head decisively. "Which is why you're teaching me self-defense and why I'm sticking around here as long as I can and why I'm not going to leave you alone when you keep trying to push me away…" She stared up at him. "I will take a leaf out of your book and start stalking you, all right?"

He smiled slowly but it faded fast. "I just want you to be safe… From me."

"Yeah, well, maybe it's time I save myself…" She tugged on his jacket. "You've saved me enough; I think I can take it from here."

He shook his head, resigned. "I'm not good. I—"

She cut him off with her lips.

Maybe it was foolhardy, reckless, completely irrationally stupid, but she leaned up onto the tips of her toes and she pulled down on his jacket to bring him forward, covering his lips with her own, the stubble of his chin scraping hers. His mouth was warm, lips parted, and she snuck her tongue in past his defenses and flicked the back of his teeth, the roof of his mouth, dragged it against his tongue, slow and deliberate.

He groaned, and then his hands were on her waist, fingers flexing, squeezing, and his mouth was pressing back against hers, his tongue joining in. There was something possessive, even harsh, about the way he kissed her. Like he hadn't done it in so long that he needed to absorb every second so he could remember it for however long he would go deprived of it next time.

Darcy buried her fingers in his hair, smiling against his mouth; his hair was dusty, a little too long, but soft, and it tickled her palms.

She turned her head and met his scraping mouth, their teeth gnashing, and she felt his hands slide up her back, gripping at her shirt, needy. She felt like everything he did, from chasing her lips as they slanted to stroking his hands up and down her back, her shirt riding up enough that he could lay his palm flat against the small of her back, his thumb rubbing back and forth, it was all done by a man who never expected to do it again, never expected to feel those same things again. And she didn't know why, she didn't understand yet why it was he kept himself at such a distance. But she didn't like it. She wanted to show him that he  _could_ do it again; that he  _could_ kiss her and touch her and it wouldn't backfire.

But since she'd just assaulted him with her mouth, she didn't imagine he was going to believe her. Her making the grand gesture just showed she wanted him, which he already knew. It was  _his_ issues that were keeping them from taking things anywhere. He had to be the one to take the leap.

She nipped at his bottom lip before she let go, pulling back slowly, her tongue reaching out to soothe her bite.

When she stepped back, his hands were raised in the air, as if still holding her or maybe reaching for her, wanting to draw her back in. His chest was heaving, and his eyes were closed.

She wiped at the corner of his mouth with her thumb, swallowing tightly when he leaned into her touch. "No running," she said softly. "See ya tomorrow?"

He opened his eyes, stared at her rather dazed, his brows furrowed, and nodded.

She grinned, turning on her heel, and starting toward her building.

"Darcy?"

His voice was thick, raspy.

She looked at him over her shoulder.

"I won't be late," he promised.

Her smile softened.

She thought that was as close as she was going to get to a commitment that he wouldn't push her away over the kiss as she was going to get.

"It's a date," she replied, winking before she stepped inside.

She sighed to herself as the door closed behind her and climbed the stairs, her fingers pressed to her still buzzing lips.

She hardly noticed the pukey walls this time.

When she walked into the apartment, Rani looked up. "Darcy, girl, I put the dinner away for you."

"Oh, thanks," she murmured, still lost in the memory of his fingers moving over her back, his hips pressed hard against hers, the solid frame of his body molded to hers. "I'll, uh, grab it in a minute…" She slipped off her shoes and started toward her bedroom.

"You were out with the doctor?" Basu asked, from where he was going over some figures at the table. He rubbed a hand under his glasses at his tired, weary eyes.

"Yeah." She nodded. "He, uh…" She couldn't help her smile. "He's helping me learn some basic self-defense."

Basu stared at her a long second and she swore he could read what happened on her face, which only made her skin flush. "He is a good man," was all he said before turning back to his books.

Darcy squeezed his shoulder as she walked past him, silently agreeing.

The problem was, Bruce didn't see it their way.

She didn't know how, and she was pretty sure even her amazing kissing skills couldn't accomplish it, but she was going to show him that he was a better person than he thought he was. It was the least she could do. And, well, kissing him along the way to reinforce it couldn't hurt, right?

**Author's Note:**

> I have never been to Calcutta; I do not speak or know Bengali (this is all Google Translate's doing); if you're from there and there are mistakes in the translation or something that doesn't jive with Calcutta in general, please let me know!


End file.
